Olympus Weekly
by ilGyhs
Summary: Welcome to Olympus Weekly! Feel free to giggle, curse, smile, or throw fruit as you merrily scroll down the intriguing news feed. Who knew the gods could be this entertaining?
1. Week I

OLYMPUS WEEKLY

Week I.

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><p><em><strong>Poseidon Shaves Zeus's Beard!<strong>_ Gods offended: (Zeus), Gods pleased: (Poseidon and 11 more)

_Comments (17)_

Aphrodite: Yay! Zeus looks soooo handsome now.

Zeus: I feel so… so naked! Curse you, Poseidon! My chin gets chilly! And curse you, too, Hermes, for introducing the electric razor to Olympus!

Hermes: Yeah. Blame in on the useless messenger that no one cares about.

Poseidon: HAHA! In your face, Zeus!

Hermes: *Clears throat* I said, the useless messenger that no one cares about. Sympathy? Anyone?

Athena: How did he let you shave his entire beard, Poseidon? That must have been difficult.

Poseidon: It was. But I'm just so awesome! FISH PREVAIL!

Hermes: …Anyone?

Artemis: The plural of fish is not 'fish.' It's 'fishes.'

Poseidon:No. Fish. I'm the god of fish. I would know.

Aphrodite: It's fishs.

Hermes: Why am I even here?

Ares: The plural of fish is fishi.

Poseidon: Fishi?

Ares: Yeah. Like, cactus = cacti. Octopus = octopi. Fish = fishi.

Mighty Gods of Olympus + Hades: -.-

Hades: As if I'm not a mighty god! SCREW YOU!

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><p><em><strong>Topic of Thalico<strong>_ Gods offended: (4: Zeus, Hades, Artemis, Demeter), Gods pleased: (2: Aphrodite, Ares)

_Comments (14)_

Aphrodite: Squeal! SO CUTE!

Hades: NO! I hate it! Ares, why does this please you? You of all people!

Ares: Punk people are cool!

Demeter: I hate it! All women should stay away from Hades and any of his children! Because then they will eat a pomegranite and then they will be stuck in the Underworld for half of the year each year and not get to see their mother!

Hades: Can it, you wrinkled cereal flake.

Zeus: I. Do. Not. Want. My. Daughter. With. HIS. SON. !

Aphrodite: But they're SO cute! Please, Zeus? Pleeeeeease?

Artemis: Thalia Grace is a Hunter! She will not date that… that…

Aphrodite: Boy?

Artemis: Argh! You _had_ to say that word.

Hades: NO THALICO. It would be a disgrace for my son to date a daughter of ZEUS.

Zeus: Oh no he di-in't.

Apollo: Haha! Topic of Thalico is a toung-twister! Topic of Thalico, topic of thalico, topialskfjd;alskfjd;aslkjfd.

Athena: I'm just glad we're not discussing "Percabeth."

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><p><em><strong>Topic of Percabeth<strong>_ Gods offended: (7: Athena, Poseidon, Artemis, Hera, Zeus, Ares, Dionysus), Gods pleased: (4: Aphrodite, Apollo, Hephaestus, Hermes)

_Comments (15)_

Athena: I just had to open my mouth.

Poseidon: NOOOOOOOO! NO! NO! NO! *Sobs*

Aphrodite: Too bad! Percabeth is now official! YAY!

Dionysus: Sigh. As long as there's no PDA at camp. Disgusting!

Poseidon: NO! Don't mention PDA! Please. I can't bear it!

Athena: Poseidon, you're being awfully dramatic.

Poseidon: Nnnoooooo, Percy, my dear son! Where did I go wrong?

Athena: It's not like I'm enjoying this, Poseidon, but there's nothing we can do to aviod it anymore. Our children are in a relationship. Deal with it.

Artemis: Relationships. Gag.

Hermes: What about the god of messenger's opinion? Oh wait! It doesn't matter.

Hera: I hate both of those kids and I hate the relationship.

Zeus: I agree. Well, I like Athena's girl. It's Poseidon's kid that makes me angry.

Poseidon: He retrieved your master bolt! You are so ungrateful!

Aphrodite: Oh, you guys are so ridiculous! PERCABETH FTW.

Hermes: Nobody listens to me.

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><p><em><strong>Aphrodite Paints the Throne Room Hot Pink <strong>_Gods offended: (12), Gods pleased: (Aphrodite)

_Comments (18)_

Athena: No! Paint it back to how it was!

Poseidon: You should have painted it sea-green.

Hades: No, you should have painted it black. All black and golden.

Athena: Hades, you don't even live in Olympus! You don't have a say!

Hades: You're right. Don't paint it black and golden. That's only for cool people, like me.

Zeus: The throne room should be blue!

Demeter: Green! Like the chlorophyll in grass and trees.

Aphrodite: It's hot pink, and it's staying hot pink.

Artemis: You should have painted it silver.

Aphrodite: Hermes, could you please tell Artemis to shut up?

Hermes: Uh… hey, Artemis? Shut up. From… Aphrodite…

Aphrodite: Thank you.

Artemis: Why did you have to tell Hermes to tell me?

Aphrodite: Hermes, please tell Artemis that I do not talk directly to people who don't support relationships.

Hermes: Sure. After all, I'm the useless god of messengers who is often thrown around like a rag doll, because all I do is deliver messages. *Waits for sympathy*

_*Cricket…cricket…*_

Artemis: Aphrodite, I can't believe you're being so dramatic.

Poseidon: Can we talk about something cool? Like me?

Hermes: Why do I even try?

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><p>.<p>

Just a new thing I wanted to try out. :)  
><strong>POLL: Which one of the gods did you like best?<strong>


	2. Week II

OLYMPUS WEEKLY

Week II.

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><p><em><strong>Underworld News: Persephone Throws a Pie in Hades's Face!<strong>_Gods offended (1: Hades), Gods pleased (12: Demeter and 11 more)

_Comments (11)_

Demeter: WOOOOO! GO PERSEPHONE! That's my girl, never failing to make me proud! *tears up*

Hades: Shut up, you old bowl of oatmeal! I still have whipped cream in my right nostril!

Poseidon: HAHA! YOU DESERVED IT, HADES!

Zeus: For once, I agree with Poseidon.

Apollo:

God of Coolness says,

Ha, ha,

This post made me

L-O-L.

Poseidon: Why did I read that? I think I just went blind.

Artemis: Congratulations, brother. You just recited your worst Haiku ever.

Apollo: You speak gibberish! It was a Haiku worthy of the god of poems. Hey, that's me!

Hermes: Would anyone care if I threw a pie in my own face? Would I finally be noticed and loved?

Hades: Curses! I just found whipped cream in my armpit!

Hermes: I didn't think so. :(

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><p><em><strong>The Queen of the Gods Cuts the Cheese During an Olympus Council Meeting!<strong>_ Gods offended (1: Hera) Gods pleased (12: Hephaestus and 11 more)

_Comments (13)_

Hera: Rrrrrrrr! I DID NOT PASS GAS!

Poseidon: We all heard and SMELLED it, Hera! YOU CUT THE CHEESE!

Zeus: Once again, I agree with Poseidon.

Hera: WHAT? My own husband turns against me and sides with Poseidon! POSEIDON—of all people!

Artemis: Hera, everyone passes gas. It's okay, don't try to hide it.

Hera: I DIDN'T! IT WAS HEPHAESTUS! Hephaestus and his stupid whoopee-cushions!

Athena: Hera, we could _smell_ it coming from you.

Hera: IT WAS HEPHAESTUS! He put sulfurous gas in a whoopee-cushion, placed it on my throne, and I sat down! It's all very logical!

Hephaestus: *Giggles*

Poseidon: HERA FARTED! HERA FARTED! HERA FARTED!

Hera: I am the Queen of the Gods and I DID. NOT. FART! Hephaestus only did this to embarrass me. It was payback! Payback for throwing him off a mountain!

Hephaestus: *Giggles*

Apollo: Hephaestus, giggling is not manly.

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><p><em><strong>Quote of the Week: "If it rhymes, it's true." –Ares <strong>_Gods confused (10: Zeus and 9 more), Gods pleased (3: Apollo, Ares, Aphrodite)

_Comments (20)_

Aphrodite: "Aphrodite is mighty." I like! :)

Dionysus: Wouldn't Apollo be the kind of person to come up with such a ridiculous phrase?

Ares: It's not ridiculous! And no! Apollo could never come up with something as cool as this.

Athena: Ares, you are so thickheaded. That theory is very inaccurate and illogical. "Dogs are frogs." Does it rhyme? Yes. Is it true? No.

Hermes: "Hermes is loved." Does it rhyme? No. So is it true? No. :(

Ares: Everybody ignore Athena, because she is no fun.

Poseidon: "Zeus is a caboose." *dies of laughter*

Zeus: POSEIDON, YOU PIECE OF **(BLOCKED WORD)**.

Ares: I'm a genius, aren't I?

Athena: Hmm. "Ares is a genius." Did that rhyme? NO.

Ares: Did I hear something? It sounded like a very annoying, smart-alec goddess trying to harsh my mellow.

Hermes: Hermes… Lermes… Dermes… Kermes…Nothing rhymes with Hermes. :( That means I'm nothing. *sob*

Hades: "The ladies love Hades." ;)

Demeter: "But smart ladies hate Hades."

Hades: "Don't know Demeter? You don't wanna meet her." **(A/N: I think the proper pronunciation of Demeter is deh-MEET-ur, but I'm not sure.)**

Demeter: "Gods of death have bad breath."

Hades: "The goddess of farming is not very darling."

Demeter: "TELL HADES TO CAN IT—AVOID THE POMEGRANITE."

Apollo: YEAH BUDDY! Ares, you old genius, you! Rhyming is my thing!

"Artemis is very bliss.

But she's not cool, like a pool.

But Apollo is! He has no frizz!

Apollo is better! He'll write you a letter.

Great is Apollo, like a doll-o.

His hair is sexy as a futhermucker."

Mighty Gods of Olympus + Hades: *scream of agony*

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><p>.<p>

What did you think? :)  
>Thanks for the reviews, guys!<br>I'm trying to make update once a week, hence "Olympus _Weekly_," but I apologize if I'm somehow not able to follow up on that. High school has the tendency to make you a _very _busy person.

**I need ideas for topics. REVIEW, PLEASE! :D**


	3. Week III

OLYMPUS WEEKLY

Week III.

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><p><em><strong>Down at Camp: Percy Jackson Flicks Grapes at Dionysus! <strong>_Gods offended (1: Dionysus, Zeus), Gods pleased (12: Poseidon and 11 more)

_Comments (14)_

Athena: That boy always looks for trouble. Zeus… why are you offended by this?

Zeus: Anything that kid does is offensive to me.

Poseidon: HAHAHA! Man, am I proud to be Percy's father.

Dionysus: NOT FUNNY. It took everything in my power not to turn him into a useless fish!

Poseidon: Fish are not useless! A world without fish would… would be no world at all!

Zeus: A world without fish? I'd go there any day.

Poseidon: *GASP!*

Hermes: A world without Hermes… would be the same. :(

Zeus: Meh. Fish aren't important. CAST THEM TO TARTARUS, I SAY !

Poseidon: WHAT? Without fish… there are no fishers! If people can't fish, they have to find another hobby—like chewing bubblegum. And then everyone will be chewing bubblegum, and they'll all be blowing bubbles. And then their bubbles will make them float up into the sky and then they'll pop and the people will fall to their deaths and THEN THERE WILL BE A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.

Apollo:

I wish Chap Stick grew on trees.

The god of the sea just went nuts.  
>Why am I so hot?<p>

Zeus: O.o

Artemis: Poseidon, Apollo… what is wrong with you two?

Athena: So many things, I don't know where to begin.

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><p><em><strong>Topic of Pothena <strong>_Gods offended (4: Poseidon, Athena, Zeus, Artemis), Gods pleased (9: Aphrodite and 8 more)

_Comments (24)_

Athena: Me… with HIM?

Poseidon: Her… with ME?

Zeus: My precious daughter… with THAT THING?

Poseidon & Athena: APHRODITE!

Aphrodite: *Giggles*

Athena: This is NOT. FUNNY. I know you are responsible for this! YOU are the one that suggests couples to the _Olympus Weekly_ editor!

Aphrodite: But you guys are so cute! You're both completely in love with each other, but you're just too scared to admit it!

Poseidon: I AM NOT, NEVER HAVE, AND NEVER WILL BE IN LOVE WITH… *shudders.* I can't even say it!

Athena: Argh! This is disgusting! Aphrodite, have you no BRAIN?

Aphrodite: Aww, pleeeease? Just give it a chance!

Poseidon & Athena: NO!

Athena: I would NEVER, ever, ever stoop down to such a low level as the one Poseidon is on!

Poseidon: I agree! Don't ever even _think_ about stooping down to my level, you rotten, smart-alec owl pellet!

Artemis: But Athena is a maiden goddess… and she is staying a maiden goddess. Isn't that right, Athena?

Athena: Absolutely correct.

Artemis: And Athena will never, ever get together with Poseidon.

Athena: Without a doubt.

Aphrodite: No, Athena, you're a _virgin _goddess. You can still fall in love. Look at all of your children—do you think they just popped out of the sky? No! You fell in love with a kind, intelligent, genuine man.

Athena: And Poseidon is none of those!

Demeter: I think it would be a nice change if you guys did date. No more bickering… no more death glares… No more screaming curses across Olympus… Peace.

Ares: *Busts out laughing* YEAH RIGHT.

Poseidon: No. No, and that's final.

Athena: I agree.

Aphrodite: ;)

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><p><em><strong>Topic of Tratie<strong>_ Gods offended: (1: Artemis) Gods pleased: (12: Aphrodite and 11 more)

_Comments (21)_

Dionysus: Who is Tratie?

Aphrodite: Tratie is a couple, silly! Travis Stoll + Katie Gardner = true love!

Demeter: What? Katie is _always _complaining to me about how annoying this Travis boy is. Who came up with such a silly thing?

Aphrodite: I don't know! But it's sooo cute!

Dionysus: Bah! I don't need another relationship at that old camp. No Tratie.

Artemis: Stop it with all these relationships, Aphrodite! A certain maiden goddess over here is about to knock a wall down.

Poseidon: Demeter is Katie's mother. Who is Travis's godly parent?

Hermes: That would be me!

Zeus: Hmm… Maybe Apollo? Hephaestus?

Hephaestus: Nope. I don't know a 'Travis Stoll.'

Apollo:

God of sweetness declares,

NO!

This Stoll is not mine.

Artemis: Apollo, stop it with your ridiculous Haikus.

Hermes: It's ME—I am the father of Travis Stoll!

Athena: Maybe his parent is one of the minor gods.

Poseidon: Yeah. That's what I think. If it was one of the 12 Olympians, they would be speaking up right now.

Hermes: I. Am. Speaking. Up.

Ares: Wait! I got it. Stoll/Steal—maybe it's Hermes!

Artemis: That makes sense.

Hermes: YES. YES, I AM THE FATHER OF TRAVIS STOLL. Me—Hermes! You know, the guy that no one ever acknowledges or pays attention to. The guy who is ignored and not cared for! The guy who speaks up and claims his son and NO ONE LISTENS!

Ares: …Hey, where is Hermes, anyway? I haven't heard from him in a while.

Hermes: *facepalm*

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><p><em><strong>Hermes Introduces the iPhone 4S!<strong>_ Gods offended (0) Gods pleased (13: Zeus and 12 more)

_Comments (15)_

Zeus: Yes! It finally arrived. One for me please, dear Hermes.

Poseidon: HEY, YEAH! Wooo, Hermes! You're so amazing. Can I have one, please? One with a blue case!

Hades: Me! Me, I want one! Get me one, please, Hermes.

Athena: Ah, Hermes! You bring such joy to Olympus. I'll have two, please.

Hera: Oh, can I have an iPhone 4S, please?

Aphrodite: YAY! The new iPhone came out! It probably has much better mirror detail and I can probably see myself perfectly! Can I have one in pink, please? Thanks, Hermes! You're the best. MUCH LOVE XX.

Dionysus: I would like one, too.

Ares: Yeah, I want one too! I gotta keep up with the latest gadgets and stuff.

Artemis: Can I have one, Hermes? Thanks.

Apollo:

Hermes, my man,

Got the new iPhone

He's so fly

Like a G6

But not as much as me

Can I have the 4S, please?

Demeter: Hermes! My best friend. Can I have an iPhone?

Hephaestus: Hey, me too, Hermes.

Hermes: Oh, sure. NOW I'm the most popular guy on Olympus. -.-

Aphrodite: Of course you are! You always have been. *Clears throat,* So when do the iPhones ship to Olympus again?

Hermes: Sigh.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews! You all totally rock my face off.

I asked you guys who your favorite god was, and so far, Hermes is winning. He appreciates the love. (:

**Credit to ILoveThisStory2 **(coolio name)** for giving me the Pothena idea.** Speaking of ideas, I need more!

See you guys next week. Gimme some feedback!

REVIEW, REVIEW! :D


	4. Week IV

OLYMPUS WEEKLY

Week IV.

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><p><em><strong>Ares Buys Aphrodite a Ring!<strong>_ Gods offended: (2: Hephaestus, Artemis, Hera), Gods pleased: (2: Aphrodite, Ares)

_Comments (23)_

Aphrodite: Awwww! Ares! You just… you make my life! Heart!

Ares: Anytime, sweetheart.

Hephaestus: What's this? A ring? In case you didn't know, Ares, Aphrodite is married to ME!

Ares: Too bad! She likes me more!

Hephaestus: She's married. To ME.

Hera: My two disappointing sons, fighting over the goddess of love. Well, being the wonderful goddess of marriage that I am, I have to agree with Hephaestus. Aphrodite is married. I don't approve of this affair that is going on with the two of you, Ares.

Ares: How are you siding with Hephaestus? We don't like him, mother! Remember? You threw him off Mt. Olympus! He's ugly, Aphrodite! Hephaestus is ugly!

Hephaestus: AT LEAST I HAVE EYEBALLS.

Ares: …):

Hephaestus: Is that sad face supposed to be you? Because it has eyeballs. And you don't have eyeballs. So I don't think it's you, because it has eyeballs. And you don't.

Ares: You totally just overused that.

Aphrodite: Awww! This is so sweet. I love it when men fight over me.

Artemis: *Rolls eyes* What a whore!

Aphrodite: EXCUSE ME?

Poseidon: Hoo-hoo! She did NOT just say that!

Artemis: Aphrodite, you need to get a grip. Life is not all about love and boys and romance.

Aphrodite: …..WHAT? Did you just… did you just say… HOW COULD YOU?

Artemis: I am so tired of reading _Olympus Weekly_ and seeing your little giggly-romance comments and relationship topics EVERYWHERE. You, missy, need to get a life outside of living in a world with rainbows and sunshine and hearts and all this gross lovey-dovey crap!

Poseidon: Hahahaha! Oh, baby! She just went there!

Artemis: Shut up, Poseidon.

Aphrodite: Oh, no you didn't, Artemis. That's it. We are officially eternal enemies. I'll get you back. I'll get you for saying that.

Artemis: Good. I'm glad.

Aphrodite: Hmph. ):

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><p><em><strong>Topic of Pertemis<strong>_ Gods offended: (3: Artemis, Poseidon, Athena), Gods pleased: (1: Aphrodite) Gods who didn't vote because they were too scared of what Artemis would do: (10: Apollo and 8 more)

_Comments (17)_

Artemis: Per… Pertem… Pe + rtemis = … equals… a relationship… me. ME in a relationsh—APHRODITE! APHRODITE! APHRO FREAKING DITE, I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU, HATE YOU, HATE YOU!

Apollo: Oooo. She just went nuts.

Aphrodite: *Smiles*

Poseidon: Artemis in a relationship with my son? What the… um, EW.

Athena: I do not approve. Artemis is an eternal maiden goddess… Aphrodite, what kind of an idiotic prank is this?

Aphrodite: Artemis is now my nemesis. I must fulfill my duty to make her angry at all costs!

Artemis: I would never get in a relationship, ever! Aphrodite, you #$%^&*(!

Poseidon: Hey. Chillax. Just don't give Aphrodite the satisfaction of making you angry. How about this brilliant idea: ignore her. That's what I do.

Aphrodite: HEY! That's mean! Poseidon, I don't like you.

Poseidon: *Whistles*

Aphrodite: I'm going to stab you with a cupid arrow!

Poseidon: What was that? I think someone's talking to me, but I'm not sure.

Aphrodite: Hey… ):

Hermes: Yeah, that's exactly how I feel all the time.

Aphrodite: … Did someone say something?

Hermes: See what I mean?

Artemis: Aphrodite, I hate you, forever and always! Don't even talk to me. Don't even look at me. Don't even THINK about me. I hate you.

Hermes: I'm talking to nobody…

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><p><em><strong>Zeus Attempts to Catch Poseidon's Castle on Fire!<strong>_ Gods offended: (1: Zeus), Gods pleased: (12: Poseidon and 11 more)

_Comments (15)_

Ares: Wait… This is backwards. Shouldn't Zeus be pleased and Poseidon be offended?

Hephaestus: *Giggles* … You have no eyeballs.

Ares: That's not even offensive anymore, hardly.

Apollo: Hephaestus, I already told you. Giggling is not manly.

Poseidon: Well… actually, Zeus is offended because this made the top news of _Olympus Weekly._ I'm pleased because Zeus tried to set my castle on fire. *Clears throat,* My UNDERWATER castle. That's UNDER the WATER. How can you set something on fire that's underwater? FAIL! Hahahahahhahaha.

Zeus: Shut up, Poseidon! You dried to drown my clouds!

Poseidon: *Stops laughing.* That's not funny. That's not funny anymore, Zeus.

Zeus: HAHAHA! What a loser.

Poseidon: You… you're so stupid… that you try to eat air… :(

Zeus: That doesn't make sense! You're so stupid that if your fish do something wrong, you try to drown them!

Poseidon: *Scoff* That's not true!

Ares: Does it rhyme?

Hephaestus: … Ares has no eyeballs! xD

Ares: Well… well my eyes are made out of fire! Which means I can see through fire… which means that I'm cool! I'm cooler than you, Hephaestus. You ugly old social wreck!

Hephaestus: No eyeballs! Hahahahaa!

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><p>.<p>

Hey guys! This chapter was really short... sorry. But thanks for the reviews! I LOVE YOU.  
>So in this chapter, Hephaestus was pretty much introduced for the first time. What'd you think of him?<br>Thanks for all the ideas! I'm gonna try to use them all, but I'm saving some for when I really need topics.

**Credit to xIHeartCupcakes for giving me the Pertemis idea.**

So what was your favorite part/topic/quote? Gimme feedback!

Be sure to check out my 2 other stories, _Hooking Up Percabeth_ and _I Meet Percy Jackson_!

REVIEW, REVIEW!


	5. Week V

OLYMPUS WEEKLY

Week V.

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><p><em><strong>Poseidon Draws on Athena's Head with Sharpie!<strong>_ Gods offended: (2: Athena, Zeus), Gods pleased: (11: Poseidon and 10 more)

_Comments (20)_

Apollo: Haha, I love it.

Athena: Poseidon! I swear on the River Styx, I'm going to take a knife to your throat!

Poseidon: ROFL!

Zeus: Poseidon, how dare you do that to my daughter!

Ares: Good job, my man! What did you draw?

Athena: He drew a fish releasing its feces into my eyebrow! FECES!

Aphrodite: Eeew. What's a feces?

Poseidon: Feces are poop. Athena is a poopy-brow!

Athena: ARGH! Shut up, Poseidon! You worthless, inconsiderate blowfish!

Poseidon: Poopy-brow! *Dies laughing*

Hephaestus: Athena, how did you not notice Poseidon drawing on your forehead?

Athena: I was asleep! Argh, Poseidon… I hate you! It won't. Come. Off!

Poseidon: It's permanent marker. It's not supposed to come off! xD

Aphrodite: So, wait… Did he really put poop in your eyebrow?

Athena: What? NO! Aphrodite… he drew fish poop on my eyebrow. With a sharpie. Rrrr… Poseidon, I hate you!

Poseidon: I hate you too.

Aphrodite: Awww. You guys are totally in love. Heart!

Poseidon & Athena: NO WE AREN'T!

Aphrodite: ;)

Athena: Stop winking!

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><p><em><strong>Topic of Apollo's Haiku's<strong>_ Gods offended: (12: Artemis and 11 more), Gods pleased: (1: Apollo)

_Comments (20)_

Artemis: No! Please… not another Haiku… Can't… bear it… *Passes out on keyboard* hbgy6cdfe34njum8ha:ELO;KL,Vvop9

Poseidon: Those haiku's. Make my ears. BLEEEEED.

Zeus: For once, I agree with Poseidon. I can't listen to those poems any longer, Apollo! I CAN'T!

Hermes: Even though no one cares what I think, I'm gonna say it. Apollo, I have gone deaf from hearing you spout those old lines that don't even make sense! They're horrible!

Athena: I don't think they're _that_ bad, but I don't have any respect for them. I don't understand why you can't make a _good_ Haiku, Apollo. You're the god of poems, aren't you? Your Haiku's should be very good.

Artemis: But they're not. THEY SUCK.

Apollo: Everyone shut up! I think they're wonderful and I'll never stop reciting them.

All the gods be hatin' on me,

But I don't care, not at all,

My Haiku's are the bomb dot com,

So suck on that lollipop!

Artemis: UGH! Someone, please, shoot me.

Athena: …Apollo, why don't you try a new hobby, like playing chess? That game is excellent for practicing strategies and exercising the brain!

Poseidon: That's no fun! Come throw crabs at Zeus's beard with me! Now THAT's fun.

Zeus: No, no, no. Shooting lightning bolts at your fish's bubbles' is fun. That's very fun.

Poseidon: Lightning bolts? At bubbles? No, that's not fun. That's obsessive… and weird…

Hera: No, Zeus, I know what you think is fun. Cheating on your wife with worthless mortals. ):

Zeus: I know what YOU think is fun. Complaining until my head explodes!

Hera: I know what YOUUUU think is fun—

Apollo:

Zeus and Hera are not cool

They always fight

I'll always spout my poems

Because they rock!

Artemis: Apollo. Shut. Up.

Apollo: Leave me be, Artemis! Go chase small animals or something!

Hephaestus: …Ares has no eyeballs…

Ares: -.-

* * *

><p><em><strong>Olympus Gets Toilet Papered!<strong>_ Gods offended: (12: Zeus and 11 more), Gods pleased: (1: Hades)

_Comments (23)_

Zeus: WHO DAAARES TP MT. OLYMPUS! I will blast them with my lightning bolt. Over and over and OVER again and again and again… *rambles on*

Demeter: What a waste of paper! Olympus is huge.

Athena: I agree with Demeter. How many trees were killed to make all that toilet paper?

Poseidon: Well it was quite a blessing for me.

Athena: How?

Poseidon: I was in the port-a-potty and there was no toilet paper. Luckily someone had TP'd the port-a-potty. All I had to do was open the door and stick my hand out there and TA-DA! Enough toilet paper to give to an army!

Athena: …Sometimes I worry about you, Poseidon.

Aphrodite: Awwww! That's so sweeeet!

Athena: Not like that, Aphrodite!

Zeus: Hades… why does this please you? Were YOU the one who TP'd Mt. Olympus? HMM?

Hades: LOL! No.

Zeus: Then why are you laughing?

Hades: 'Cause whoever did it is a freaking genius. xD

Zeus: Someone should go TP _your_ palace! See how that makes you feel!

Hades: Stop being such a pain!

Demeter: You're a pain, Hades! YOU'RE a pain!

Hermes: What if I was the one that TP'd Olympus? Would anyone pay attention?

Zeus: Yeah, Hades! YOU'RE a pain!

Hermes: I TP'D MOUNT OLYMPUS!

Hades: Shut up, Zeus! I hope whoever TP'd your precious mountain comes back and sprays graffiti on your throne!

Zeus: GASP!

Hermes: :O No one pays attention. This means that I can do anything I want… and get away with it! Yeah! HIGH-FIVE!

_*Cricket… cricket…*_

Hermes: *High-fives himself* Yeah!

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><p>( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ )<p>

I'm gonna use this band-aid all the time now. xD

Hey guys! We reached 40 reviews! WOOOOT! You all are amazing.  
>I was gonna do a topic for Christmas… but I think I'll do that next week.<p>

**Credit to Denim Jeans for the TP idea.  
>Credit to Daughter of Oceanus for the "passing out on keyboard and pressing random keys" idea.<br>Credit to EPICMOoOSE1112 for the Topic of Apollo's Haiku's idea.**

Sorry if your idea wasn't used, but I'm trying to include only a few at a time. Don't get angry: yours may all of a sudden appear in _Olympus Weekly: Week XXIV_ or something. Who knows?  
>But keep sending the ideas in! They are extremely helpful.<p>

**So, what was your favorite part?**

**FEEDBACK HERE**

**V  
><strong>


	6. Week VI

_****_OLYMPUS WEEKLY

Week VI.

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><p><em><strong>Zeus Cheats on Hera Many, Many Times and HE SUCKS! <strong>_Gods offended: (2: Zeus, Athena), Gods pleased: (11: Hera and 10 more)

_Comments (20)_

Zeus: WHAT? Who submitted this topic? I am the king of Olympus! I will strike you with my lightning bolt! Who did this?

Hera: It wasn't… it wasn't Hera, I know that.

Zeus: *Suspicious* Oh, really? Are you sure about that?

Hera: Uh, yup. Positive.

Poseidon: Hahaha! Hera, you suck at lying! But thank you for submitting this topic. This just made my day.

Hera: Maybe I did submit it, maybe I didn't! But you are not faithful to me, Zeus! I'm so tired of it!

Artemis: You know what would be better? NO RELATIONSHIPS. At all. Not between Hera and Zeus, not between Annabeth and Percy, not between Aphrodite and Ares, not between anyone!

Aphrodite: ARTEMIS, I'M ABOUT TO BLAST YOU TO TARTARUS!

Artemis: Do it. I dare you.

Apollo: Do it! Do it, pleeeease!

Artemis: Shut up, Apollo!

Hera: Can we get back to _my_ problem, please?

Athena: Hera, I don't think putting your _problem_ on an _Olympus Weekly_ topic was the correct way to approach the situation.

Hera: -.-

Athena: I'm serious, Hera. You could have done this in a much more wise and mature manner.

Hera: Wise. And mature.

Athena: Yes.

Hera: I'm is the Queen of the Gods, and gurl you best shut yo mouth before I come ova durr and knock you outta yo seat.

Apollo: xD Hera just went ghetto.

Athena: Hera, that wasn't very wise or mature either.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Topic of Perthena<strong>_ Gods offended- ERROR: We're sorry; Athena has broken the 'offended' button. –Server)

_Comments (25)_

Poseidon: Wise and mature, Athena. Very wise and mature.

Athena: I. WILL. NEVER. DATE. POSEIDON. OR. ANY. OF. HIS. SONS!

Aphrodite: What if he has a daughter?

Athena: A daught—_much_ less a _daughter_, Aphrodite! THINK, for once!

Aphrodite: Hey… ): That's mean…

Athena: Stop posting these idiotic relationship topics! Or at least stop making them about me! Dating Poseidon's son is just as bad as dating Poseidon, if not worse.

Aphrodite: That's great, Athena, except I didn't post this one!

Athena: Then who did?

Hera: That be me.

Apollo: Ghetto Hera prevails!

Athena: Hera, you handled this in an unwise and—

Hera: Just shut up already, Athena! No one cares!

Hermes: You know what else no one cares about? Me.

Ares: Hephaestus just gave me an eye patch! That's so offensive!

Dionysus: Can I have it? Percy Jackson just flicked a grape at my eye. Curses!

Poseidon: Woooo! Go Percy!

Hermes: Just like Hades suggested, I think I'm gonna go spray graffiti on Zeus's throne.

Hera: Weren't we talking about Perthena?

Poseidon: My son would never be stupid enough to date Athena. The idea alone is so… eughhh.

Athena: I agree! I don't care how offensive that was.

Hermes: Zeus *spray* sucks *spray* drawing of a cloud with a sad face *spray*

Aphrodite: Athena, you and Poseidon seem to be agreeing on a lot lately. ;)

Everyone on Olympus: SHUT UP, APHRODITE.

Aphrodite: Jeez Louise.

Hermes: Mu-haha! I can get away with anything.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Zeus's Throne Spray-Painted!<strong>_ Gods offended: (2: Zeus, Athena), Gods pleased: (11: Hermes and 10 more)

_Comments (21)_

Dionysus: Interesting.

Zeus: WHO DARES! Hades….

Hades: I swear on the Styx, it wasn't me. But that is hilarious!

Zeus: How was it _not_ you? You said, and I quote, "I hope whoever TP'd your precious mountain comes back and sprays graffiti on your throne!" And guess what? Whoever TP'd my precious mountain came back and sprayed graffiti on my throne!

Poseidon: HAHAHAHA! Zeus, you suck!

Hades: It wasn't me! I'm not even allowed on Olympus—how could it have been me?

Hermes: ME! ME! IT WAS ME! I did it.

Demeter: What did they spray on your throne, Zeus?

Zeus: They wrote "ZEUS SUCKS." And then they drew an ugly, deformed cloud. It looks like a pile of dog crap!

Hermes: Sorry. I can't draw to save my life.

Athena: This is so immature.

Zeus: Do you know who it was, Athena?

Athena: No, but I'm almost positive it was one of the Olympian gods or goddesses.

Zeus: How can you be sure?

Athena: It's a gut feeling. *Glares at Poseidon*

Zeus: Poseidon! It was YOU!

Poseidon: As much as I would like to be given credit, it wasn't me. Whoever did do it is brilliant!

Hermes: I'm getting a kick out of this!

Ares: I agree with Poseidon. This is freakin' awesome!

Hades: xD Watch, Ares, you're gonna be next.

Hermes: If you say so, Hades… If you say so. :D

* * *

><p><em><strong>Outcome of 'Secret Santa on Olympus 2011'<strong>_ Gods offended: (12: Zeus and 11 more), Gods pleased (1: Hades)

_Comments (27)_

Hades: I heard your Secret Santa thing SUCKED. Hahaha! This is one of those moments when I'm very glad I'm not one of the 12 Olympian gods.

Demeter: Go to Hades, Hades!

Hades: Haha! My own pun!

Poseidon: Athena was my secret Santa. ATHENA, out of all people! You know what she got me? A rock. She got me a rock!

Athena: Shut up, Poseidon! You got me a Chinese finger trap. Do you _really_ think I'm gonna get myself stuck in… *tugs*… *tugs harder*… Oh my… I can't get out…

Poseidon: HAHAHA! So much for the goddess of _wisdom_!

Ares: I was offended to the max. You know what Hephaestus got me? AN EYEBALL. Hephaestus got me a fake EYEBALL!

Hephaestus: You totally needed one.

Ares: #$%^&*!

Hephaestus: Chillax, Ares. You shouldn't be talking. You got me a bomb!

Ares: *Mimicking* You totally needed one!

Hephaestus: Yes. But I didn't want it to explode in my face!

Zeus: You think you all have it bad? Aphrodite got me a pair of earrings!

Aphrodite: They're _so_ cute, Zeus. You should totally try them on.

Zeus: I DON'T HAVE EAR HOLES.

Hermes: At least you all got gifts. At least none of you were your own Secret Santa… );

Hera: Stop complaining, Zeus. At least Aphrodite put _some_ thought into your gift. You got me an I HATE POSEIDON t-shirt!

Poseidon: I hate you, Zeus! I hate you forever and always!

Artemis: I wasn't that offended this year. Demeter was my secret Santa and she got me a box of Lucky Charms. Saved me a trip to the grocery store.

Zeus: Aphrodite. Got. Me. EARRINGS.

Aphrodite: It's not that bad Zeus. Hera got me a compact mirror. The top of it says, "If you're ugly, you can see your reflection in this mirror." Nobody insults my beauty! NOBODY.

Apollo: Artemis got me duct tape. ):

Artemis: So you can put it on your mouth and stop reciting Haiku's.

Mighty Gods of Olympus + Hades: *Applause*

Dionysus: Well, Artemis, your gift didn't work. Apollo was my secret Santa. And you know what he got me? A Haiku.

Demeter: Don't complain, Dionysus. You got me a grape! A little piece of fruit.

Dionysus: /:

Hades: Now I'm really glad I'm not an Olympian god anymore! You guys suck!

* * *

><p>( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ )<p>

Okay so Hermes has temporarily gone insane from lack of attention. xD

We reached over 50 reviews! Wooooohooooooo! Thank you so much!

So I usually update on Fridays, but I had to do it one day earlier because tomorrow my aunt is getting married! :D  
>But thanks for all the ideas; they were amazing and so helpful.<strong><br>Credit to Trident449 for the Perthena idea and the "Hera submitting an article about Zeus" idea.**  
>Once again, don't be sad if your idea didn't appear in this chapter. I'm saving some for later.<p>

Be sure to go read my two other stories, _I Meet Percy Jackson_ (recently updated) and _Hooking Up Percabeth._

**Don't stop leaving ideas and reviews!**  
>I love you guys!<p> 


	7. Week VII

_****_OLYMPUS WEEKLY

Week VII.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Athena Makes Kebabs with Poseidon's Trident!<strong>_ Gods offended: (1: Poseidon), Gods pleased: (12: Athena and 11 more)

_Comments (16)_

Aphrodite: Ooo! What kind of kebabs? Fruit kebabs? Mmmmm!

Athena: Feces kebabs!

Hades: …So you went around gathering little poops and sticking them on Poseidon's trident?

Athena: That's exactly what I did.

Aphrodite: Eeeew!

Hades: Well… that's a little bit obsessive, but congratulations! I hate Poseidon.

Zeus: Good job, Athena! You never cease to make me proud.

Poseidon: PROUD? You're proud of her for sticking feces on my trident? What if it were _your_ weapon of power, Zeus?

Zeus: But it wasn't my weapon of power. It was yours! HAHAHAHAHA.

Poseidon: Athena, I'm going to kill you! I HATE YOU!

Hades: L-O-L this is hilarious.

Hera: *Mimicking* Athena, I don't think you handled your situation in a _wise_ and _mature_ manner.

Poseidon: Yeah, Athena! Where is your wisdomishness? Because, if you ask me, collecting poop and putting it on my trident is NOT VERY WISE AT ALL.

Athena: How dare the two of you call me unwise! I'm smarter than both of you times a million!

Hera: Well, you sure don't seem like it!

Athena: Rrrrrrr… *steam comes out of nostrils*

* * *

><p><em><strong>Topic of Hadeter<strong>_ Gods offended: (3: Hades, Demeter, Artemis), Gods pleased: (10: Aphrodite and 9 more)

_Comments ()_

Hades: Hmm… I know the relationship has something to do with me and a person whose name ends with "-eter."

Demeter: -.-

Hades: Um… maybe someone like "Skull-eater" or… "Life-beater" or… "Pan-Peter."

Demeter: -_-

Zeus: "_Pan_-Peter?" You mean Peter-Pan?

Hades: Hmmm, nope… None of those seem to fit. I wonder… Aphrodite, who did you try to hook me up with? I hope she's super-hot! With beautiful facial features and a rockin' body.

Demeter: -_-

Aphrodite: *Giggles*

Hades: I hope she's blond. Brunette is good too, just as long as she's got a booty going on—wha…wait… Dem.. are you…? Did you do a topic about me and DEMETER?

Aphrodite: *Giggles*

Demeter: Hades… I SWEAR ON THE STYX, I AM ABOUT TO RIP YOUR HEAD OFF! You think you can just go around asking Aphrodite for beautiful women to be with when you've got a WIFE? Not to mention that she is my daughter. I used to hate you, Hades. But now… now I absolutely despise you and I hope you drown in the stomach acids of a twenty-ton drakon! And you, Aphrodite… YOU FOOLISH GIRL, HOW DARE YOU DO A TOPIC ABOUT HADES AND ME? You know that I HATE HIM!

Hades: *Gulp*

Aphrodite: It's my job to try to hook people up, Demeter. Now please, just go on a date or something.

Hades: Even if I wanted to take Demeter out on a date—and I DO NOT—if I tried, she would tear me to shreds before I could even say, "Would you g—"

Demeter: I absolutely would, no doubt about it! Hades, if you so much as lay a finger on me, I will feed you to my ginormous Hades Fly-Trap.

Athena: You mean… _Venus_ Fly-Trap?

Demeter: No. I have a few plants that were made specifically for chewing on Hades. Well, Hades _and_ flies… it still likes to eat flies.

Poseidon: Who the heck let you get a hold of THOSE?

Demeter: …I know some people…

Athena: I think it would be wise that everyone stay away from Demeter for a while…

Poseidon: Yeah, she's obviously gone insane.

Demeter: -.-

* * *

><p><em><strong>Comparing Coolness: Apollo vs. Justin Bieber<strong>_ Pleased/Offended button unavailable for comparison topics

_Comments (24)_

Apollo: WHAT? Comparing coolness? Who does these kinds of topics?

Ares: Me! Aphrodite has her topics of relationships, so I decided to start "Comparing Coolness" topics.

Apollo: Well… if I do say so myself, I think I am much cooler than Justin Bieber.

Poseidon: I don't know… Boober doesn't spout Haiku's, so that makes him a million times better than you.

Apollo: Well… well… SO IS YOUR FACE.

Poseidon: Wait… what?

Athena: Well, I'd say you two were tied.

Aphrodite: *Squeal* OMG! I loooove Justin Bieber! Marry me! HEART!

Hephaestus: Hey! You're already married!

Ares: Yeah, AND you have a hunky boyfriend.

Aphrodite: But JB is sooooooo cute!

Hephaestus & Ares: -.-

Artemis: I don't like Justin Bieber. He's a girl magnet. Relationships. Bleeuuughhk.

Apollo: So does that mean you choose me?

Artemis: Well… on the other hand, Bieber doesn't recite Haiku's.

Apollo: WHAT? You turn against your own brother?

Artemis: Hmmm… yeah. I choose Bieber.

Apollo: *Scoff*

Zeus: Yeah. Bieber.

Hephaestus: Well, let's see. There's Bieber: a kid whom my wife is in love with and wants to marry. A kid who might even be a little girl. Weird singer. Stuck-up jock. Apollo: Haiku's.

All of Olympus: Definitely Bieber.

Apollo: YOU ALL SUCK! I'm cooler than Boober and you know it!

Artemis: Yeah… sorry, bro.

Apollo: *Sob*

* * *

><p><em><strong>Ares's Throne gets Egged!<strong>_ Gods offended: (4: Ares, Athena, Zeus, Aphrodite), Gods pleased: (9: Hephaestus and 8 more)

_Comments ()_

Ares: WHO DARES? I DECLARE WAR!

Hermes: Hahahahahahahahaha!

Athena: I have a very strong feeling that this is the same person that TP'd Olympus and spray-painted Zeus's throne…

Poseidon: I have one thing to say: L-O-L.

Apollo: The Olympus Gangsta has returned!

Hermes: Yes! I got an official name.

Artemis: Did they do anything else besides egg your throne?

Ares: They wrote on it with permanent marker.

Demeter: What does it say?

Ares: It says, "Hermes was here… Eat raw eggs, sucker! From Hermes."

Poseidon: Man… I wonder who that was.

Ares: WHO DID IT? STEP UP, NOW! Or at least leave your name behind or something!

Hermes: ROTFLSHTIWTPMPAES. (Rolling On The Floor Laughing So Hard That I Want To Pee My Pants And Eat Sushi.)

Hades: This is… so weird…

Ares: Hades… IT WAS YOU! You are the Olympus Gangsta!

Hades: It wasn't me! I swear!

Zeus: It WAS you Hades! First you predict my throne being spray painted and that came true. And then you said, "xD Watch, Ares, you're gonna be next." And Ares _was_ next!

Hades: No, I swear on the Styx!

Zeus: What other explanation is there, Hades?

Hades: I'm being framed!

Ares: YOU LIE! How dare you egg my throne? I'll bring a spear to your throat! Meet me on a hill somewhere, and we'll fight to the death, even though we're immortal!

Hermes: IT WAS MEEEEEE! :D

Hades: It wasn't me! I'll find out who it was.

Hermes: Mu-hahahahahaha!

* * *

><p>( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ )<p>

Hey guys. xD 80 reviews! :D You guys are freakin' awesome! **MEGA-GOAL: 100 REVIEWS.**

So I'm really sorry I made you wait another week… Actually, I don't think anyone even noticed that I didn't update last week. I don't think anyone really cares. xD But anyway, I was extremely busy and I didn't have ANY time. Sooorryyy.  
>So Rick Riordan is coming out with a new book called <strong>Demigod Diaries<strong>! :D Look it up or PM me so we can have a mega fangirl rant. (:

**Credit to Denim Jeans for the idea of mentioning Justin Boober.  
>Credit to EPICMOoOSE1112 for "Athena Makes Kebabs with Poseidon's Trident" idea.<br>Credit to Aeron Thana for the Hadeter idea.**

I got quite a few good ideas… once again, if yours wasn't used, I'm probably using it later, blaah, blaaaaaah.

Still, leave me ideas and **REVIEWS**! I love you guys. (:


	8. Week VIII

OLYMPUS WEEKLY

Week VIII.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Aphrodite Gives Athena a Makeover!<strong>_ Gods offended: (1: Athena), Gods pleased: (12: Aphrodite and 11 more)

_Comments (27)_

Athena: Aphrodite, WILL YOU NEVER STOP?

Aphrodite: Come on, Athena, you look so hot!

Athena: NO! It won't come off! Make it come off!

Aphrodite: It's not gonna come off for at least a week! Hehe!

Poseidon: YES! Good job, Aphrodite!

Aphrodite: Ooo, you're happy about this, Poseidon? Is it because Athena looks drop dead gorgeous and you're head over heels for her?

Poseidon: No, it's because you pissed her off!

Athena: Poseidon! Get over here, I want to rip your head off.

Poseidon: Yeah, because I'll actually obey you and let you do that.

Athena: Rrrrrrr…

Poseidon: Barbie-face! Ahahahaha!

Zeus: Aphrodite, why did you do this? I've _never_ let Athena wear make-up. Remove it this instant!

Aphrodite: Why, Zeus? No one is too beautiful for make-up, especially not Athena.

Athena: OFFENDED!

Artemis: Athena, why would you even let her give you a makeover? I always put at least 1,000 miles of distance between me and Aphrodite if I see her clutching lipstick or any other kind of make-up.

Athena: I didn't know what Aphrodite was doing. I was asleep! AGAIN!

Artemis: Ugh, Athena. Never do that!

Athena: Yes, Artemis, I think I have learned my lesson!

Hades: Hey, Aphrodite, you think you could give Persephone a makeover? Don't tell anyone I said this, but I think she'd be 10 times sexier if you came down here and worked your magic.

Aphrodite: Absolutely, I'm on my way!

Demeter: HADES. My daughter does not need makeup! I forbid her to wear it, especially if it's for your disgusting sake!

Aphrodite: Aw, Demeter! I already gathered up all my supplies. ):

Demeter: Well, too bad! Why don't you give Artemis a makeover?

Aphrodite: Well, I would… but she just ran off to China.

Demeter: Fine. Do it on Poseidon!

Aphrodite: *Face lights up* That's a perfect idea! Thanks, Dem!

Poseidon: Wait, wh-what are you doing? … No! Aphrodite, NO!

* * *

><p><em><strong>Artemis's Throne gets Picturized!<strong>_ Gods offended: (1: Artemis), Gods pleased: (12: Hermes and 11 more)

_Comments (17)_

Artemis: APHRODITE, THIS WAS YOU! YOU ARE THE OLYMPUS GANGSTA!

Aphrodite: What? How do you just randomly come to the conclusion that I "picturized" your throne? What the heck does picturized mean?

Artemis: Somebody—*coughcough* APHRODITE *coughcough*—glued a huge collage of pictures to my throne. As if that isn't disrespectful enough, the pictures were those of relationships. And hearts and kisses and—RRRRAIUUUHAOFDJA;LSFJ;ALSCJDF.

Hermes: It wasn't Aphrodite, it was ME! xD

Aphrodite: Wow! That's so clever! How come _I_ didn't think of that?

Artemis: You did! You are the Olympus Gangsta! Zeus, blow her to bits!

Zeus: As much as I'd love to, Artemis, we need evidence. A confession. The Olympus Gangsta needs to step up and just shout his/her name out—

Hermes: HERMES!

Zeus: —even if it's just typing a small clue here on _Olympus Weekly_—

Hermes: It was me! Me, me, me!

Zeus: But, sadly, we've had none of that.

Hermes: *Dies laughing*

Artemis: What a wimp! Olympus Gangsta, we _will_ find out who you are! I, personally, will see to it! NOBODY posts pictures of relationships on my throne. Such mockery!

Athena: It is, indeed, disrespectful. I understand your point of view, Artemis, but we need not be so rash about these situations. My plan is to just ignore the Olympus Gangsta and all of this will stop.

Hermes: WHAT? No! Don't ignore me! The only reason I started doing this in the first place was _because_ I was being ignored!

Zeus: Hmm… a good strategy, Athena. I might look into that. For now, look for any clues or signs or confessions.

Hermes: NO! I have to do something! Attention. Attention. I NEED ATTENTION!

* * *

><p><em><strong>Hermes Confesses: "I am the Olympus Gangsta!"<strong>_ Gods offended: (0), Gods pleased: (0)

_Comments (3)_

Hermes: Now that I finally entered this topic, attention will be drawn to me and me only and I will be ruler of Olympus!

Hermes: *Waits*

_Five hours later_…

Hermes: No one cares about me! Wah!

* * *

><p><em><strong>Comparing Coolness: Aphrodite vs. Rebecca Black<strong>_ Pleased/Offended button unavailable for comparison topics

_Comments (37)_

Artemis: Anything that ISN'T Aphrodite. Even though she sang the most annoying song in the world, REBECCA BLACK ALL THE WAY! Aphrodite, I hate you.

Aphrodite: Excuse me? I'm way better than Rebecca Black in many, many ways! I sing better, I'm SO much hotter, and I don't have nearly as many haters. So shut up, Artemis. Go chase your stupid moon around the earth or something!

Hephaestus: Aphrodite vs. Rebecca Black… Hmm… Tell the truth or make wife happy…? *Ponders.* Well, since you've been a horrible wife, Aphrodite, I choose Miss Blackness.

Aphrodite: WHAT? My own husband! I can't believe this!

Apollo: I got 99 problems and Rebecca Black ain't one! I thought her song was awesome. _It's Fryyyyy-day, Fryyyyy-day, gotta get down on Frrrryyyyyyyyy-day…_

Poseidon: Yeah, I love that song! *Joins Apollo*

Zeus: Hmm… everyone's choosing Rebecca. I don't want to feel like a loner, so Rebecca Black!

Apollo: Oh yeah, and if I didn't already make this clear, I choose Rebecca Black! Because you, Aphrodite, chose Justin Boober over ME! So take that!

Aphrodite: *Punches wall* …NOOO! I broke a nail!

Hermes: Since Aphrodite ignores me, I choose Rebecca Black!

Aphrodite: Ares, how dare you even make this comparison topic!

Hephaestus: ARES SUCKS! No-eyeballed piece of… no-good… war-ness…

Ares: I'm sorry, Aphro, I just had to!

Aphrodite: APHRO? Now I'm just a big, useless bush of HAIR to you?

Hephaestus: You _tell_ that hunknut!

All of Olympus: HUNKNUT?

Athena: Last time I checked, that word was not in the dictionary… and I read that book every night before I go to sleep. Every edition I can find!

Poseidon: Seriously, her closet is stocked with those things.

Zeus: How would you know, Poseidon? Do you spend a lot of time in Athena's closet?

Poseidon: Uh…

Zeus: I KNEW IT! You are the Olympus Gangsta!

Poseidon: Wait… what?

Zeus: Curse you, Poseidon! I was hoping for a confession.

Poseidon: Why would I confess if I'm not the Olympus Gangsta?

Athena: I say you _are_ the Olympus Gangster, Poseidon.

Apollo: No, you gotta say it with wordswag. Gangstah, not Gangsturrr.

Athena: Ganst—aherugh?

Apollo: No. Gangstah.

Athena: G—ang—sterrugah… gurhh?

Apollo: NO! *Sigh* Look, Hera Ghettopants can teach you.

Ghetto Hera: Grrr.

Aphrodite: Weren't we talking about me?

Hermes: We weren't talking about me, that's for sure.

Artemis: No, we were talking about how much you SUCK compared to Rebecca Black, Aphrodite.

Aphrodite: *Slaps Artemis*

Athena: Gangst—aurhgs? Argh, curses!

* * *

><p>( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ )<p>

Hey guys! We're almost at 100 reviews! Thank you so much! :D  
><strong><br>Credit to Denim Jeans for the Rebecca Black idea.  
>Credit to EPICMOoOSE1112 for the Athena's makeover idea.<br>Credit to Kingdomalith, Trident 449, and myself (because I thought of this a long time ago xD) for the "Hermes's own topic that nobody comments on" idea.  
>Credit to <strong>**Kingdomalith**** (also known as my new best friend) for the "Picturize Artemis's Throne" idea.**

So anyway! Thanks for being so awesome. Sorry for updating a day late. My dad grounded me because my room was dirty and I couldn't update. D:

Feedback/Ideas in a review, pleeeeeeeeeease!  
>Thank you guys!<br>**Tell me your favorite part. **That way I know what more to add and stuff and so and yeah. LOVE YOU GUYS! Okay bye!


	9. Why I'm Leaving FOR NOW!

OLYMPUS WEEKLY

Week IX.

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><p><em><strong>IlGyhs Quits Olympus Weekly… for now.<strong>_ Fanfickers offended: (Very many)

_Comments (0)_

Yeah, guys… you won't see any updates for a while. D: The thing is my life is SO. BUSY. I have school, work, homework, 50 volunteering hours to complete before May, choir performances, a talent show coming up, work, work, work… work… I no longer have the time to dedicate my time to updating a fanfiction every Friday night.

I'm really sorry!

Life sucks. I had just reached my goal of 100 reviews, too. (THANK YOU SO MUCH, I ALMOST CRIED.)  
>But be angry not so much further, (LOL, grammar?) for I am not completely abandoning this fanfic! You <em>will<em> live to see another update, I promise. I think.  
>Every once in a while for the next few months, I <em>might<em> put something together for you guys. But that will only be occasionally.

**In the summer**, when I no longer have school and homework, I will have time to update Olympus Weekly every week. And then we can all laugh at mopey Hermes and stupid Poseidon on a regular basis.

Being super busy is one of the reasons I'm putting this story on hiatus. But the other reason? Two words:

**HUNGER GAMES.**

I'm seriously so obsessed with this series right now that I can't even think straight! Like, I read these books whenever I can—between class periods, on the bus, right before I clock in to work, while I eat, WHILE I SLEEP. Don't ask me how that's possible.  
>I started reading that series last week. I'm in the middle of Catching Fire and I can't put it down! So I've pretty much just dropped my obsession over Percy Jackson. I <em>never<em> thought I'd be able to do that. But the Hunger Games… I cannot contain my love for that series. xD You'll definitely see Hunger Games fanfictions over the next few YEARS.

I'm sooooooo sorry I let you guys down!

but feel free to PM me with questions/suggestions/anger-ness/etc. Keep sending me ideas, though! I still need those!

Hunger Games fans: YOU HAVE TO PM ME SO WE CAN DISCUSS THIS HORRIBLE PEETA/GALE SITUATION. I don't know who I like! Sometimes it's Peeta because he's so sweet. Sometimes it's Gale because he's sexy. Idk!

So anyway, sorry guys. You're amazing, and thanks for helping me reach my goal of 100 reviews! :D  
>I will update again. Okay?<br>PM ME!  
>I love you guys,<p>

-xxx- IlGyhs

( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ )


	10. Week IX

OLYMPUS WEEKLY

Week IX.

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><p><em><strong>Poseidon Gives Athena an "Intelligence for Dummies" Book!<strong>_ Gods offended: - - - - - - ERROR

_Comments (20)_

Ares: Wow, Athena… you broke the 'offended' button again.

Hera: Yes, Athena. How wise and mature of you.

Poseidon: Hahahahahahaha!

Athena: Shut up! Everyone, just SHUT UP. I am _so_ extremely offended right now.

Zeus: Sigh… what happened now, Athena?

Ares: I know, right? This girl is offended left and right. Learn to take a joke!

Poseidon: Take a joke? Athena? That's impossible… which is why it's so hilarious to mess with her. ROFL.

Athena: I said, SHUT UP! Poseidon, don't you dare speak to me. Don't you dare look at me. Don't you dare even _think_ about me right now. I. Will. Kill. You.

Artemis: What happened?

Athena: Is the topic not clear enough for you, Artemis? He gave me an "Intelligence for Dummies" handbook. Intelligence for dummies. I AM NOT A DUMMY! HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE? I AM THE GODDESS OF WISDOM! YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS!

Apollo: Hey, hey, hey! Everyone just calm down.

Poseidon: Yeah, Athena. Take a chill pill.

Apollo: Two. Take two chill pills.

Athena: I don't need any of your stupid pills. What I need is to rip Poseidon's face off.

Zeus: Poseidon, why would you do this? You know Athena is offended easily.

Artemis: Where did you even get the book, anyway?

Poseidon: Well, I was just walking around Olympus and I found it on the floor. What was I gonna do, Athena? _Not_ give it to you?

Hades: You should have kept it and read it for yourself. You're a pretty big dummy.

Athena: Watch out, Poseidon. You better watch out.

Apollo: Lol, you're screwed, fish head.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Poseidon's Throne is Fish-ified!<strong>_ Gods offended: (1: Poseidon), Gods pleased: (12: Hermes and 11 more)

_Comments (28)_

Artemis: Fish-ified?

Zeus: What, did they throw fish at your throne?

Poseidon: No! They… they drew… Oh, it's so horrible I can't speak it.

Hephaestus: Drew… what, Poseidon? Fish?

Poseidon: Yes, fish. They drew fish on my throne.

Apollo: … That's it?

Poseidon: No, there's more… but it's so atrocious! How could someone be so cruel?

Hermes: Hehehe. This is funny.

Athena: I know what they did.

Poseidon: *Suspicious* Oh, do you now? What, then, Athena? What did "they" do?

Athena: What… you think it was me?

Poseidon: Yes. I think it was you. I think YOU drew those dead little fishies on my throne with permanent marker. I think it was you. You and your ugly, cold heart!

Hermes: No, buddy, it was me!

Athena: First you insult my intelligence, and now you accuse me of doing something so immature as that?

Poseidon: Who else, Athena? Who else would do this to me? Those poor fish… with little x's instead of eyes… drawn permanently into my throne. THOSE FISH HAD A FAMILY!

Apollo: Poseidon… they're just drawings.

Poseidon: *GASP!* Just… drawings?

Artemis: Is he being serious?

Poseidon: JUST DRAWINGS? All fish are sacred! It doesn't matter if they've been drawn!

Artemis: He's serious. You've got to be kidding me.

Poseidon: IT WAS YOU, ATHENA. You are the Olympus Gangsta!

Athena: Now you accuse me of being the Gangsta? Are you insane?

Hermes: Lololololol.

Zeus: It can't be Athena. She's not that immature.

Poseidon: She did it! She did it to get back at me for every horrible thing I've ever done to her.

Athena: Whatever, Poseidon. I'm not even going to argue with you.

Hermes: It seems I have once again retrieved attention! I must keep shining!

* * *

><p><em><strong>Olympus Spotlight of the Week: ZEUS<strong>_ Pleased/offended button unavailable for spotlight topics

_Comments (25)_

Hephaestus: Spotlight of the week? What's that?

Poseidon: Does this mean Zeus is better than me?

Zeus: It does, Poseidon. Yes, it does.

Apollo: No, it's just a new thing I started. Everyone releases their thoughts about whoever the spotlight is on. It's very therapeutic.

Athena: Interesting, Apollo. But I have a bad feeling about this. I won't mention any names, but there are a few gods that will go overboard with this.

Poseidon: Release our thoughts? Sounds great. ZEUS, YOU PIG, I HATE YOU! Y-you make me want to take… take Athena's eyebrow and… and just wax the Hades out of it. Do you hear me? Every time I look at you, I want to just peel bananas. And eat them. Except, then I think about you, and I think—I think… 'Why am I eating this? Zeus sucks.' And then I just throw those bananas to the Hippocampi. And I hate you.

Athena: See that? That's what I was talking about.

Hades: I hate you too, brother. You think you're so cool, with your… your clouds. And your air.

Hera: I should contribute my thoughts as well. Zeus, you're my husband, but I hate you. Most of the time. You're always cheating on me with other people. Women, and I think some men, too. You—neva respec' me. Evah. I come homes and I just see you wid all dem otha womens. I'M IS SO SICK OF YO PLAYA FACE. YA HURR ME? YOU AND YO BIGBOOTYBURDD.

Zeus: Don't bring Ghetto Hera into this.

Apollo: Hera, I believe it's "big booty _beard._" Not burdd.

Ghetto Hera: STFU, Mofo.

Dionysus: I hate Zeus because he made me stay at this stupid camp. With no wine to dull my senses. Arhghhhghhhhhh.

Athena: I think Zeus is a great leader. Maybe a bit impulsive, at times… and conceited…

Zeus: HEY!

Artemis:I don't have a problem with you, Zeus. You're awesome.

Hephaestus: A TERRIBLE FATHER!

Ares: I agree. You neglected me!

Aphrodite: I love you, Zeus! But if you shaved your beard, you'd be a lot more handsome.

Hermes: You ignore me. Everyone ignores me!

Apollo: I don't like you because you don't like my haikus. ):

Artemis: No one likes your haikus, Apollo.

Apollo: Boohoo ):

Zeus: Whatever. You guys all suck! Go to Hades.

Hades: Actually, I don't want any of you down here. Stay where you are… please.

* * *

><p>( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ )<p>

...Hey guys. (: How have you been for the past... two months?  
>Once again, really sorry about quitting the story. I just needed a break for a while. And I still do, but it's spring break, and I wasn't busy. So I decided to put a smile on your faces! Unless you hate me. D:<p>

**Credit to JakkinAkkiDragonRiders for the "Intelligence for Dummies" idea.  
>Credit to Kingdomalith for the "dead fish drawn on Poseidon's throne" idea. <strong>(Sorry, I sort of changed it a bit, if you don't mind. But the topic originated from your idea.)

So I just recovered from a three-week long battle with bronchitis. NOT FUN! And I recently discovered that my grandpa has cancer... Prayers are greatly appreciated. (:  
>Thank you, guys. I LOVE YOU!<br>**Keep sending in ideas.** I'll try to update again this Thursday/Friday. Have a magnificently spectacular spring break!

**HUNGER GAMES MOVIE THIS WEEKEND! YES! YES! WIN!** Peeta FTW!


	11. Week X

OLYMPUS WEEKLY

Week X.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Topic of Perachel<strong>_ Gods offended: (1: Artemis), Gods pleased: (12: Poseidon, Athena and 10 more)

_Comments (27)_

Artemis: I HATE RELATIONSHIPS.

Aphrodite: Screw you!

Poseidon: Yes! I love it! Percy with someone else rather than Athena's daughter.

Athena: Annabeth with someone else rather than Poseidon's son! It's perfect!

Aphrodite: Personally, I think Percabeth is suuuper cute, especially since it's pretty much forbidden love! But Perachel is sure to make Annabeth jealous, and jealousy is always entertaining. Oh, these mortals. How cute!

Poseidon: …Has anyone ever told you that you are extremely annoying?

Athena: *Nods in agreement*

Aphrodite: Sigh. No one understands love like I do.

Athena: Still, the idea of Perachel pleases me.

Apollo: Wait, wait. Rachel is my Oracle. She can't date anyone!

Poseidon: What? Since when are _you_ a stickler for the rules?

Apollo: My Oracle.

Poseidon: Pshh… Mr. Stickypants.

Aphrodite: Aww, come on, Apollo. It would be soooo cute!

Apollo: NO! I won't allow it.

Artemis: Thank you, Apollo. This is probably the only time I've ever felt grateful towards you.

Poseidon: You two just ruined my day.

Hermes: Hello, my name is Olympus Gangsta.

Zeus: It's because you suck, Poseidon.

Poseidon: I know you are, but what am I?

Zeus: -.-

Poseidon: Is that all I am to you, Zeus? A mere face with squinted little eyes and a dotted nose? No ears? No mouth? How do you expect me to eat? Through my belly button?

Apollo: LOL

Hephaestus: -.- … That kind of looks like Ares.

Ares: What, because I have no eyeballs?

Hephaestus: Hehehe…hehe.

Athena: Ugh. All of you just need to give up on life.

Poseidon: SO IS YOUR FACE.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Athena Sends Poseidon a Love Letter!<strong>_ Gods offended: (2: Athena, Zeus), Gods pleased: (11: Aphrodite and 10 more)

_Comments (23)_

Aphrodite: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL! OMG! What did it say? When did she send it? Are you guys a couple now? What happened? Details!

Artemis: Oh, no. This can't be happening. The two people I seriously counted on to never get together are sending love notes to each other?

Athena: A love… love… note… from me? To P-Pos… Poseid—? WHAT! ? ! ? !

Poseidon: Hahahaha! Oh, Athena, don't pretend like you have no idea what's going on.

Zeus: WHAT? Athena! Why, oh, why?

Poseidon: I'm a hunk. No one can resist this.

Athena: *Splutters*

Artemis: What a shame.

Aphrodite: I demand to know what that letter said. Read. It. Now. Or. You. Will. DIE.

Poseidon: Alright, alright. Chill your bill. It says, and I quote, _"Dear Poseidon. For the past few millennia, I thought I despised you. But recently, I realized that when I am with you, I feel alive. You bring to me a happiness that no one else ever could. You bring to me a love I have never known before. I could not imagine what my life would be like without you. I love being with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You are so much better than Zeus. And you have a rockin' body. From, Athena."_

Apollo: OMG, TROLLIN'.

Poseidon: Okay, fine, those last few lines were made up. They're true! But Athena didn't write them.

Athena: I did not write _any_ of that!

Poseidon: Oh, really? Then who did?

Athena: Well… obviously, the Olympus Gangsta.

Artemis: Well, that does make sense…

Zeus: Yes! The Olympus Gangsta. That _has_ to be it.

Hermes: Sometimes I wonder if there's a creeper out there who has a doll that looks exactly like me and dresses it with what I wore every day, bathes it, and puts it to sleep every night.

Poseidon: Are you sure, Athena? The note is pretty convincing.

Athena: Yes, you imbecile! I would NEVER write any sort of letter to you, especially not the love kind.

Aphrodite: NOOOOOOOOOOO! *Sob* I wanted this so badly!

Artemis: Oh, shut up, you drama queen.

Aphrodite: I hate you, Artemis! I hate all of you!

Hermes: Teeheheehe :D

* * *

><p><em><strong>Olympus Spotlight of the Week: POSEIDON<strong>_ Pleased/offended button unavailable for spotlight topics

_Comments (19)_

Artemis: Apollo… are you really gonna do this again?

Apollo: Leave me be, Artemis! You're a terrible sister. Everyone else, please feel free to leave your thoughts about Poseidon.

Poseidon: Woooo! I'm the spotlight this week. Oh yeah, oh yeah, Zeus sucks, Zeus sucks.

Hephaestus: Hmm… Poseidon… Well, I have no problem with you. Except that one time, when you shaved my beard for eating fish.

Poseidon: SACRED.

Ares: Did he take your eyeballs, Hephaestus? He should have. He should have done so.

Demeter: Poseidon, I think you're annoying. That is all.

Athena: I agree. You're annoying, unwise, immature, childish, and just plain stupid.

Zeus: Dear Poseidon, I think you should go eat a lollipop… OF DEATH.

Hades: Sorry, I'm out of those.

Aphrodite: I like you, Poseidon! I just wish you and Athena would get together! You would be soooo cute—

All of Olympus: SHUT UP, APHRODITE.

Hermes: Poseidon ignores me. ):

Artemis: Yeah, Poseidon, you are annoying. And immature. And childish. I honestly have no idea why you've been given the entire ocean to control. Obviously some evil force wants the earth to be consumed by your idiocy.

Poseidon: …Wow, that was really offensive.

Artemis: Well, deal with it. Aphrodite secretly made me a profile on some online dating website and I literally _just_ found out. I'm in no mood to censor my thoughts.

Poseidon: Jeez…

Hera: Poseidon _is _annoying. If yew wuz ghetto lyk I'm is, yew would have so much $WAGGA.

Poseidon: Well, everyone seems to hate me. I'm gonna go drown now… oh wait, I can't! BECAUSE I'M AWESOME.

* * *

><p>( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ )<p>

Welcome, citizens of Panem! I literally just saw the Hunger Games… *SCREAM*  
>You guys need to PM me about that movie, if you've seen it. Even though I loved it, I do have a few minor complaints. But I still love Peeta! Katniss too, but Peeta is such a cupcake!<p>

**Credit to JakkinAkkiDragonRiders for the "Athena's love note" idea  
>Credit to DEDEBUG9<strong> **for the "Creeper who keeps a doll of Hermes" idea.**

So thanks for reading this chapter! I'm not sure if I'll be updating again this week… but I'll try my hardest!  
>Let me know what you likedhated… Idc, just leave feedback! :D  
>You guys are awesome. May the odds be <em>ever<em> in your favor. :3


	12. Week XI

OLYMPUS WEEKLY

Week XI.

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>I will get attention! I will be noticed! I WILL RULE THE WORLD!" —Olympus Gangsta<strong>_ Gods offended: (12: Zeus and 11 more), Gods pleased: (1: Hermes)

_Comments (24)_

Artemis: No way. Who posted this?

Gods of Olympus: *Murmur in confusion*

Apollo: Somebody be trollin'.

Poseidon: This is crazy.

Hermes: Teehehehe.

Athena: That can't be the Olympus Gangsta. He can't post things on Olympus Weekly. He doesn't have an account. The only ones who can use Olympus Weekly are the twelve Olympian gods and goddesses. And Hades.

Zeus: That's it! The Olympus Gangsta is one of US!

Hermes: Teeeeeeeeeeeehehhehehehehehe.

Zeus: It's Poseidon!

Poseidon: It's Zeus! Or Athena.

Hephaestus: It's Ares.

Artemis: No, it's Aphrodite.

Aphrodite: Shut up, Artemis! You're just jealous because I'm beautiful.

Artemis: Ugh, I couldn't care less.

Demeter: It's obviously Hades! He's the one who got kicked off of Olympus in the first place. BLAME HIM FOR EVERYTHING.

Zeus: Well, that does make sense…

Poseidon: I still prefer Athena to be the Olympus Gangsta, but I guess Hades works, too.

Apollo: It's Dionysus. Have you noticed that he hardly ever says anything? He just sits back and watches us blame each other for everything HE does.

Athena: Dionysus is too lazy to do anything. He would never go through all this trouble just to make us angry.

Dionysus: I would disagree with you, but my fingers are getting tired from typing so many letters. Zeusihateyou. becauseyoutookmywine. Ijustgottired. ofpressingtheshiftkey. andthespacebutton. . . Leavemealone.

Apollo: It's all an act!

Artemis: Whatever, Apollo, that's ridiculous.

Zeus: Olympus Gangsta, we will find you soon. You better watch out.

Hermes: Hehehehe :D

* * *

><p><em><strong>Hera Behind Bars! <strong>_Gods offended: (1: Hera), Gods pleased: (12: Zeus and 11 more)

_Comments (31)_

Apollo: Wait… Hera hides behind bars? Like… the ones that serve alcohol?

Artemis: No, you idiot! Bars, like a jail cell.

Apollo: Oh!

Poseidon: It's about time. That woman is crazy.

Athena: Poseidon, I would watch my mouth if I were you. She's still the queen of the gods.

Poseidon: I'm talking bouncy beans I-N-S-A-N-E.

Artemis: Poseidon… shut up.

Poseidon: I don't like that woman at all. She just needs to take a bite of Apollo's chillcheese and just calm down. She freaks out over anything!

Zeus: You know she can still read this, right?

Poseidon: *Laughs* What are you talking about? She's in jail.

Zeus: She… can still read it…

Ares: She's gonna tear a chunk out of your caboose.

Poseidon: ….

Poseidon: Well, I'm off to Tartarus. See ya.

Athena: Tartarus?

Poseidon: I would rather go there than to face Mrs. Ghettopants at her worst.

Zeus: That's a good point. Can I come with you?

Poseidon: Oh. My gosh. NO! I hate you.

Artemis: You know Tartarus is where all the evil Titans are, right? You know… the guys that tore down Olympus and tried to end us completely and want us to die a miserable death in their stomach acids?

Poseidon: … I don't understand what you're getting at.

Zeus: Yeah, what's your point?

Athena: Please leave, Poseidon. Both of you just leave.

Apollo: Um, excuse me, but my cheese costs twenty-two drachmas.

Artemis: Jeez… why so much?

Apollo: It is _chill_cheese. It will chill your dill… pickles…

Artemis: (Please don't let him start rhyming, please don't let him start rhyming, please—)

Apollo: I went to the store and bought a robot

But then I wanted more, so I got a slowdot.

I don't know what that is, but it's a cool name.

Slowdot? Yeah! No one could say that that's lame.

I like to wink at hunters, especially Artemis's.

And I like to eat sausage and make a lot of disses.

Don't eat my cattle or I won't give you cheese.

Don't ever think you're hotter than me, fool PLEASE.

Artemis: Poseidon, I think I'm going with you to Tartarus now.

Poseidon: No, Artemis. You're a party pooper.

Ghetto Hera: Hey. Possie-POOP. What in HAY-DEEZ's name do you think you is doin', talkin' smack right up thurr, hm? I'm is the QWEEN OF DUH GAWDS, and I am's boutta tear yo booty down!

Poseidon: O.O

* * *

><p><em><strong>Olympus Spotlight of the Week: HADES<strong>_ Pleased/offended button unavailable for spotlight topics

_Comments (46)_

Hades: Wooooooo! I'm a spotlight. On OLYMPUS.

Athena: I guess this is a regular thing now. Hmm… my thoughts about Hades… Well, you're not very wise. Someone should probably show you how to use a toothbrush—

Demeter: I HATE HADES. I HATE YOU! GO DIE! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE IMMORTAL, JUST GO LAY DOWN ON A BED AND GO TO SLEEP AND JUST NEVER WAKE UP. DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU STOLE MY DAUGHTER! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU AND I WANT TO THROW DISCO BALLS AT YOUR FACE. AND I WANT TO STAB YOU WITH CEREAL. I hate you.

Hades: o.o

Athena: Wow, Demeter… that was quite rude.

Demeter: What? He deserves it.

Athena: No, I mean, you interrupted me.

Demeter: Oh. Sorry, Athena. I STILL DESPISE YOU, HADES.

Zeus: I don't like you, Hades. You're the worst brother in the world.

Poseidon: I'm pretty chill with you, Hay-man. Except sometimes you eat my crackers.

Hades: Sorry, bro.

Apollo: You're too dark for me. We're kind of opposites. I'm bright and sexy and hot—like the sun. And you're just a little cold, dark, smelly pebble of loneliness.

Hephaestus: I like you, because you have eyeballs.

Ares: I hate you because Hephaestus likes you.

Aphrodite: OMG! I haven't said anything throughout all of this week's topics!

Artemis: Yeah. And it was quite peaceful.

Poseidon: I was thinking that you were dead. It was a happy thought.

Aphrodite: You two are _so_ below me.

Poseidon: Um, "right."

Aphrodite: Well, Hades, I think you could use a makeover. The way you look kind of reminds me of a wrinkled raisin.

Hades: You guys don't hold anything back, do you?

Dionysus: I don't care for you, Hades. I don't care for anything. Except for my wine.

Hermes: I would tell you my thoughts about you, Hades, but you won't hear me…

Hades: … What are you talking about? I can hear you fine.

Hermes: W-w-what? You… did you just SPEAK TO ME?

Hades: Um… yeah… Are you okay?

Hermes: Df... Ghr... Dllall..a...IDIJGOIJOIJD? ? ? ?

Poseidon:LOL, Hermes is acting weird.

Apollo: Yeah. Too much chillcheese will make you stutter uncontrollably. Other side effects include gas, mild depression, and disturbing thoughts of hamburgers eating waffles. I mean, that's just wrong.

Hermes: YOU GUYS ARE TALKING TO ME.

Athena: Hermes… I think you need some sleep.

Hermes: NO! I will never go to sleep now, for fear that I will wake up and find that everyone is ignoring me again. I can't go back to that. I CAN'T GO BACK, I TELL YOU!

Poseidon: Chill out, little man.

Hermes: *Hyperventilates* I can't… believe… this is happening…

Athena: Hermes, do you have a fever?

Hermes: No, I… I'm fine! Don't…worry…

Athena: Helloooo? Hermes?

Hermes: I said I was fine…

Poseidon: I would answer Athena. She doesn't like being ignored.

Hermes: You're one to talk! You've been ignoring me for the past few MONTHS!

Hades: Well… I guess Hermes is gone. That was really weird.

Apollo: Yeah. Sometimes I feel bad for that guy.

Hermes: Guys? I'm right here!

Hermes: Hello? People?

Hermes: NO, PLEASE DON'T IGNORE ME AGAIN! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm the Olympus Gangsta! I stole Zeus's water bottles. I… I watch Barney! I EAT POOP! Please, anyone, talk to me! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!

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><p>( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ )<p>

Awww Hermes is so lonely. :3  
>WE'RE ALMOST AT 200 REVIEWS! I'M ABOUT TO DIE! Thanks soooo much, I love you all!<br>Okay, so tell me what your favorite part was. **REVIEW.** And PM me if you're awesome, because I love talking to you guys.

**I have a poll on my profile. Be sure to check it out and vote!**

See you sometime soon! Oh and I need more ideas, so be sure to keep sending those in. :D


	13. Week XII

OLYMPUS WEEKLY

Week XII

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><p><em><strong>Hephaestus Gets a Nose Job!<strong>_ Gods offended: (11: Athena and 10 more), Gods pleased: (2: Aphrodite and Hephaestus)

_Comments (25)_

Athena: Hephaestus! How could you?

Hera: Good. He was way too ugly before.

Zeus: Finally we agree on something, you wife.

Aphrodite: I'm so glad he did it! Now he at least looks somewhat handsome! I mean, I can't be seen walking around Olympus with a big bag of lumpy old scars-and-ugly, now can I?

Hephaestus: Thank you. I'm happy to know I'll always have you to back me up, darling.

Zeus: Hephaestus, I may even be able to look at your face now and not scream in agony! Oh, the excitement!

Hera: Yes, his nose made up 47% of his horrendous features.

Athena: Zeus, Hera, I am extremely disappointed in you two. You not only allowed him to fix his nose, but you are supporting his decision? Terrible parents.

Aphrodite: FIX! You said fix! When you fix stuff, it's because they were broken—or in this case, ugly. So you're saying that his nose was ugly in the first place! So, secretly, you're okay with this, Athena.

Athena: Aphrodite, that doesn't make any sense. You completely just twisted my words around. I'm not okay with this, and it doesn't matter if I use the word 'fix' or not.

Aphrodite: Stop ruining everything! Hephaestus is so much hotter, and he's not going back to his old nose. Period.

Hephaestus: She knows her stuff.

Ares: Dang it, Aphrodite. Are you going back to Hephaestus now?

Aphrodite: I just might. But technically I was always with him, I just—

Hera: CHEATED! You cheated on Hephaestus with Ares. Did I ever mention I'm the goddess of marriage? I. Don't. Like. Cheaters (Zeus). You whore.

Zeus: Me?

Aphrodite: …ME?

Hera: Both of you!

Aphrodite: Excuse me?

Hera: Don't make me bring my ghetto into this. You priss.

Apollo: Ahem. We were talking about our dear friend nose-jobbing his face.

Ares: Aphrodite, why would you go back to Hephaestus? He… only wants you for your eyeballs! Why do you want to be with THAT?

Hephaestus: It's because I am now a hunkie-dunkie.

Aphrodite: Awww, you're so cute.

Hermes: I enjoy watching all of you dispute! Now I shall do something EEEEVILLLLL, muahhahahaa!

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><p><em><strong>Poseidon and Athena Secretly Dating?<strong>_ Gods offended: (4: Poseidon, Athena, and 2 more), Gods pleased: (9: Aphrodite and 8 more)

_Comments (26)_

Athena & Poseidon: APHRODITE!

Artemis: Aw, are you serious? You guys… You can't!

Athena: This… we… Poseidon and I… NO!

Poseidon: LIES!

Zeus: Ugh, Athena. You've disappointed me once again.

Athena: It isn't true! How many times do I have to explain this to you all? I WILL NEVER DATE POSEIDON. He is a stupid, immature, unwise, big-headed fool! He is so full of himself, and he smells like FISH!

Poseidon: Yes, exactly! It was all Aphrodite. It's always her!

Hermes: It was meeeeee! :D :D :D

Aphrodite: No, this time it wasn't me. I got banned from posting relationship stuff, because I already put up too many of those.

Artemis: Finally!

Aphrodite: Hey, go peg yourself in the forehead with one of your arrows, will you?

Artemis: Go fix your makeup. You look like a clown.

Aphrodite: Go eat a jackalope.

Artemis: Go break a mirror. It can't be hard, all you have to do is look into it.

Aphrodite: Arghhh… GO DATE A MAN.

Artemis: No she didn't!

Apollo: Will you two calm down?

Aphrodite: Get out of this, Apollo. Go… eat fish sticks… or something.

Poseidon: GASP! My fish shall not be eaten!

Zeus: Yes, please eat his fish. Because, see, fish hold up the water. So if there are no fish, there is no water. So Poseidon won't have a kingdom and the remnants of the ocean shall be MINE! And the shriveled Poseidon shall rot in the pits of Tartarus, along with his weakling of a son!

Athena: Nothing you just said is correct in any way.

Demeter: Are you defending Poseidon now?

Hades: You guys should just go on a date already.

Demeter: Hades, I never want to see your name below or above mine ever again.

Hades: Yes, ma'am.

Demeter: You did it again!

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><p><em><strong>Olympus Spotlight of the Week: HERA<strong>_ Pleased/offended button unavailable for spotlight topics

_Comments (33)_

Artemis: Poseidon, if I were you, I would not say anything. Just keep your mouth shut and wait till next week's topics.

Zeus: It shall be peaceful until then.

Poseidon: Why?

Zeus: Because you're annoying.

Poseidon: I was talking to Artemis…

Artemis: Because you always find a way to offend Hera and bring out the ghetto inside her queenly soul.

Poseidon: That's not my fault!

Apollo: It's your fault.

Hera: Can we please get on with it? I want to hear your opinions.

Hephaestus: Oh, man. This is gonna be bad…

Zeus: Yes. Oh yes it is.

Ares: I feel like if we give our honest opinions, all of us will end up in dead in a gutter.

Hephaestus: I wonder if she'd take our eyeballs… Oh! Ares. So sorry, didn't mean to offend you.

Ares: I'm in the mood to cut your face open, man.

Zeus: I think I'm just gonna say the opposite of what I want to say to Hera. Dear loving wife, you are a wonderful queen. Everyone respects you and I've never regretted marrying you. We bond so well and I never feel like ripping your hair out with a chainsaw. You are my only wife and I would never even think of laying eyes on another woman. I love you.

Poseidon: THAT IS HILARIOUS. To… to think that anyone—anywhere—would ever say such a thing to Hera… that's… you… it just blows my mind! It is beyond me that Hera could ever be any of those things that you just said, Zeus!

Artemis: Poseidon, what did I just tell you? Shut up!

Poseidon: I mean, Hera's just the complete opposite of what you just described! I don't even know how you kept a straight face while you said all of that. It's—I just—good job, Zeus. I've never been more proud to call you my brother.

Artemis: Poseidon. Shut. Up.

Hera: It's okay, Artemis. Let him speak. I'll kill him later.

Poseidon: Fish, fish, fish, fish, I love fish!

Artemis: You are such an idiot.

Athena: I think you're a good queen, but you should probably work on controlling your temper, Hera. Just my wise opinion.

Hera: You and your enraging "wisdom."

Hermes: I guess I'm kind of glad Hera can't hear me. I'm very scared of her. :(

Hephaestus: She's a terrible mother! She threw me off a mountain!

Artemis: Hera, the only thing I don't like about you is that you're married. To Zeus.

Zeus: That's also the one thing I don't like about her.

Hades: You know what, I think we should all agree on the fact that we are very frightened of Hera and we wish she would chillax a little bit.

Apollo: Yeah. Have some chillcheese.

Ares: Yeah, that's about right.

All of Olympus: *Nod in agreement*

Hera: Aww, you guys are wimps. All scared of me and stuff. I love it!

Hermes: When will I ever be noticed?

* * *

><p>( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ )<p>

Hey guys! …I feel like that's my intro for every author's note. And it totally is. Why am I talking?

**-WE HIT 200 REVIEWS! **My life just got a million times better!  
>Mega-ultra-super-extreme goal = 1,000 reviews! Highly impossible, because I'm the polar opposite of cool. All doubts aside, if we hit that, I will die happy.<br>SUPER SORRY for taking like a month to update. But only one more day of school and then summer! And I can update regularly again!… Maybe possibly… hopefully…  
><strong>Credit to Waves Crash<strong> **for Hephaestus getting a nose job.  
><strong> ^Haha, that was so random.

**-I WROTE A NEW STORY.** It's called _The River Lethe._ Chapter two is now up. Go check it out and review! Oh and also, those of you who haven't voted, there's a poll on my profile if you would like to voice your opinion.

Review! I'm in desperate need of ideas for topics! See you next week! Love you guys!


	14. Week XIII

OLYMPUS WEEKLY

Week XIII

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><p>"<em><strong>Whoever stole my Pringles better expect an enormous wedgie in three seconds, ARES!"—Hephaestus, the coolest god ever <strong>_Gods offended: (Ares and 12 more), Gods pleased: (No one)

_Comments (29)_

Ares: Cool, I don't care!

Zeus: Hephaestus, you are absolutely not the coolest god ever. That would be me.

Poseidon: LOL worst lie ever.

Apollo: I might not be the coolest god ever, but I'm definitely the _hottest_ one. Teehehe. Get it? Hot? 'Cause I'm, like, all sunny and stuff?

Athena: All of you are so immature. Hephaestus, just buy another can of Pringles at Olympus-Mart. What's the big deal?

Hephaestus: Those Pringles came with Apollo's chillcheese! And that cheese is so expensive!

Apollo: Heck yeah! Twenty-two drachmas, sir.

Ares: Well, you're not getting them back unless you quit commenting on my lack of eyeballs.

Hephaestus: lol eyeballs… NO.

Ares: Okay, I guess I'll eat them, then.

Hephaestus: NO NO NO, don't! Wait, let's figure something out.

Ares: No, the only way you can ever get these Pringles back is if you swear on the River Styx that you'll stop making fun of my eye-holes.

Hephaestus: No man, you can't put that on me. I thought we were cool :(

Ares: What?! Are you stupid?

Hephaestus: Just give me back my Pringles!

Aphrodite: Pringles make you fat.

Artemis: Shut up, princess. That's why you exercise.

Aphrodite: Ewww, exercise makes you all sweaty and gross! No way!

Poseidon: Exercise is awesome! Check out my huge guns!

Ares: *Crunch, crunch, crunch* Man, this chillcheese is awesome. It makes the Pringles taste like 2,000 times better.

Apollo: I KNOW, RIGHT?

Hephaestus: NOOOOOOOOO!

Ares: Lol, I finished them all.

Hephaestus: I hate you, you eyeball-less freak!

Ares: QUIT TALKING ABOUT MY EYEBALLS OR ELSE I'M DECLARING WAR.

Apollo: If anyone wants my specialty cheese, just let me know.

Artemis: Shut up, Apollo, no one wants your stupid cheese.

Ares: I actually really liked it.

Artemis: Don't encourage him.

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><p><em><strong>Topic of Zeuseidon <strong>_Gods offended: (3: Poseidon, Zeus, Athena), Gods pleased: (Everyone else, especially Aphrodite and Hermes)

_Comments (21)_

Hermes: Readers and creepers, prepare yourselves for an explosion of emotion. Signed, creator of the Zeuseidon pairing topic, also known as OLYMPUS GANGSTA.

Zeus: Po-po-po….p-p-….pop… seidon?

Poseidon: wtf

Zeus: Pos… He… WHAT THE TARTARUS?! POSEIDON?! THAT IS DISGUSTING! I WOULD NEVER—_NEVER—_ever ever EVER! How do you—Wh… HOW DARE YOU… *splutters*

Poseidon: WTF

Zeus: I can't even begin to understand what kind of a sick being would even _dare_ cross me in this manner! I am the almighty ZEUS—King of Olympus! I will find you, Olympus Gangstaruughh!11oiadgskhadfafvdu8u0wqt8 r89 we80q0wety8er8yeegdifdjovdij l (*types a lot of weird stuff to relieve stress*)

Poseidon: W…T…FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFF

Hermes: lol

Artemis: Well, normally I'm not at all for relationships. But these are guys. Pigs deserve pigs, right?

Zeus: For a short period of time, I will regain my composure to scold you, Artemis. I am your father, and you may not call me a pig.

Artemis: I apologize.

Zeus: Good, good. *Clears throat* Nothing further—now I shall return to my previous state of irritation...I WOULD NEVER IN MY ETERNAL, NEVER-ENDING LIFE, EVEN THINK ABOUT DATING THAT UGLY SEA WRETCH.

Athena: That's disgusting. Zeus and Poseidon are brothers.

Aphrodite: Yes, it's kind of weird, but… hey, at least everyone will stop bothering you about Pothena, girl. And plus, this definitely isn't the first time we gods have practiced…uh, incest. Hehehe.

Athena: True. But just the thought of Zeuseidon—

Zeus: DISGUSTING.

Athena: —being together is just disturbing isn't it?

Poseidon: YES. YES, IT'S SO DISTURBING. Meruughf aodi gjdliehahwggyt. I can't speak anymore, I'm so disgusted! Zeus, this can only mean one thing. YOU MUST BE OVERTHROWN.

Ghetto Hera: Excuuuuuuuuuuse me? Urmm, I don't thank so! PossiePOOP, now I KNOW you ain't trynna steal my man. You be outta yo mind. Zeus be MY hubband. He ain't yose. He be MINE. You bettah take a step back.

Poseidon: I don't think you heard me right. I HATE ZEUS. I'm not trying to steal your man—he's my brother! Get out of here, HERA. You're fat.

_Hera is typing…_

_Sorry, __Ghetto Hera__ is typing…_

*thirteen minutes later* _and Ghetto Hera is STILL typing…_

[Server: ERROR—Sorry, Olympus Weekly had to shut down the topic due to violation of the extreme Ghetto code, _"No comment shall be too ghetto_." Thank you!]

* * *

><p><em><strong>Olympus Gangsta Creates Demigod Week!<strong>_ Pleased/offended button unavailable

_Comments (46)_

Athena: Hm… I disapprove. Olympus Weekly should be restricted to _only_ the twelve Olympian gods. Oh, and Hades.

Hades: *Grumbles*

Aphrodite: Athena, you're such a drag! It's cool that our children will be chatting with us! *Squueeeeeal!* I love all my children!

Hephaestus: How many kids do you even have?

Aphrodite: I don't know, like thirty-six and a half or something?

Poseidon: How does that work?

Silena Beauregard: Mom, you currently have twenty-seven claimed children.

Aphrodite: Yay! You're the first one to join us on Olympus Weekly!

Percy Jackson: So, what is this exactly?

Poseidon: Percy, my bestest son!

Athena: *Rolls eyes* Ugh. It's _him._

Percy Jackson: No seriously, I thought I was dyslexic, why can I read and write this so easily?

Athena: You _are_ dyslexic. Fool. Olympus Weekly is a website—where _usually_ only the Olympians are allowed to be on. The Olympus Gangsta most likely used magic on the website to allow you to read and type without struggling. After all, the Gangstrauugh did invite you here in the first place.

Charles Beckendorf: There's a gangster on Olympus? No way.

Hephaestus: Yeah, son. He's very mean. I think it's Ares.

Ares: JUST BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE EYEBALLS.

Hephaestus: Exactly.

Clarisse La Rue: Fire is so much more awesome than eyeballs, fatty! ALSO, YOU WERE DISOWNED BY YOUR PARENTS. And YOU SUCK.

Hephaestus: Aww :(

Ares: That's what I'm talkin' about! Up top, daughter. You are now my official favorite.

Clarisse La Rue: Freakin' YES.

Apollo: You guys are silly. Everyone knows the Olympus Gangsta is Artemis.

Poseidon: No, it's Athena. Or Hera.

Ghetto Hera: HOLD UP.

Poseidon: Oh, crap.

Ghetto Hera:I am's bout to beat you down, fish. I may be ghetto, SIR, but I'm is NAWT a gangsta…okay, maybe a lil bit.

Zeus: By the way, Perseus, your idiot father has a bad case of speech-diarrhea. He doesn't think about what he says—he just explodes with moronic words. That's why Ghetto Hera is always beating him up.

Poseidon: He's lying, Percy.

Annabeth Chase: Since when is Queen Hera ghetto?

Poseidon: Well… since me.

All of Olympus: *Murmur in agreement*

Charles Beckendorf: So, what is this Olympus Gangsta thing about?

Athena: That gangster is causing all sorts of trouble on Olympus. He's got us blaming and pointing fingers at each other like little children. All of it is ridiculous, actually.

Percy Jackson: So what has this gangsta guy done?

Ares: Hm… he TP'd Olympus, spray-painted Zeus's throne, egged _my_ throne, picturized Artemis's throne, fish-ified Poseidon's throne, sent a fake love letter from Athena to Poseidon, and allowed demigods to chat with us on Olympus Weekly. That dude is weird.

Travis Stoll: Wait a minute… TP-ing, spray-painting, egging, vandalizing peoples' thrones… I know this from somewhere…

Connor Stoll: Yeah, it sounds vaguely familiar…

Percy Jackson: It should. I mean you guys are always doing stuff like that. Being sons of Hermes, it comes naturally, right?

Gods of Olympus: O.O

Hermes: Oh, crap… should I be excited or worried?

Athena: Wait… sons of _Hermes_?

Travis Stoll: Oh, man. I can't believe we just ratted out our own dad. He is not gonna be proud…

Poseidon: No… no, it can't be. Hermes is our friend!

Ares: Who else, you dolt? Pretty much all of us have been framed except for him! It explains everything—why he's never around, why he was acting so weird the time we started talking to him, why I always find him in my bath tub playing with the bubbles… oh wait. That doesn't have to do with anything. *Clears throat*

Hermes: I've dreamt of this day for a long time… now that it's here and everyone notices me, well… I should probably run.

Artemis: It… it actually makes sense…

Zeus: *Sighs.* Well, I suppose we've found our answer. Hermes is the Olympus Gangsta.

(The gods simultaneously bang their staffs on the ground, just for dramatic effect.)

* * *

><p>( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)<p>

Hello, Percy Jackson-crazed human beings.  
>I've seriously missed all of you in the last…five months…<br>I really wanted to update, and I worked on the chapter as much as I could, but high school is insane. Really sorry D:

Anyway. HOLY CRAP HERMES IS THE OLYMPUS GANGSTA. Who knew?  
>What'd you guys think? :D<br>I was actually not planning on including the demigods on Olympus Weekly, but you guys kept asking for it, so... yeah :)

By the way, all of you who have been waiting for me to update my other stories, Hooking Up Percabeth is officialy completed, and chapter 3 of the River Lethe is finally up! Go check those out and review :D

I also got my braces off! MY TEETH FEEL LIKE JELLO BLOCKS, LOOOOL.

And I'm so extremely obsessed with the Mortal Instruments! I'm still on the first book, but it's crazy how awesome that series is. If you guys want to PM me about that, please do! Just no spoilers. Still on the first book, everyone ;D  
>Also, I know you guys are excited about the Mark of Athena, but I just want to ask you guys to please not put any spoilers in the reviews lol. Unfortunately I haven't read it yet! I'm waiting till I'm done with the Mortal Instruments, then I'm gonna read the Mark of Athena! Or not, idk :D :D :D<p>

Okay, so REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Thanks for everything!


	15. Week XIV

OLYMPUS WEEKLY

Week XIV.

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><p><em><strong>HERMES IS THE OLYMPUS GANGSTA!<strong>_ Gods offended—ERROR: the 'offended' button exploded because everyone clicked on it like four million times

_Comments (32)_

Zeus: HEAR ME. I speak for all of Olympus! I promised that we would find this fellow Gangster man, and we have! All of Olympus screams in triumph! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Aphrodite: AAAAH.

Apollo: AAH.

Poseidon: This wasn't even your doing, Zee-us. It was my son who figured it out. So SHUT UP AND STOP TAKING ALL THE GLORY….aah.

Hephaestus: Yeah, Papa man. You failed! Hermes was living under our noses this entire time. Literally. I'm pretty sure he shrunk himself this one time and started plucking my nose-hairs.

Aphrodite: EW OMG.

Hephaestus: So you failed, Zeus! Percy figured it out before you. That's what you get for throwing me off your stupid mountain. HA. HA.

Apollo: How many hairs did Hermes pluck out of you?

Hephaestus: I don't know, man, like eight? It kind of felt like… like little mosquito bites.

Apollo: Oh. Chillcheese, huh?

Hephaestus: What?

Apollo: Nothing, I'm just advertising. Like, I really don't care how many hairs he plucked, I just wanted you to buy chillcheese. I lowered the price. Only twenty-_one_ drachmas.

Poseidon: Wow. 'What a deal.' Notice that I said that with a lot of sarcasm.

Athena: Your moronic conversations are burning my corneas.

Aphrodite: What is corneas? Is that like really eased corn?

Apollo: …I think I read that and got stupider.

Athena: Can everyone please listen? We need to think of a punishment for Hermes. He vandalized our thrones, played ruthless pranks on us, made us look like fools!

Hermes: All I wanted was to be heard! Everyone was ignoring me. No one cares about me. I'm so sad all the time. Please, have mercy!

Poseidon: Why didn't you just speak up, Hermes?

Hermes: DID YOU REALLY JUST ASK ME THAT?

Athena: I think we should tie Hermes up and lock him in the closet. And then throw him into Tartarus!

Hermes: No please! By the way, Apollo, do you think you can hook me up with some of your cheese stuff? I heard it's like an explosion of flavor that sends you flying through the atmosphere full of rainbows or something like that.

Apollo: Yeah, man! Because you're such a fantastic person, I'll give you a special. Only 20.5 drachmas.

Hermes: How does that work? Do you want me to cut one in half?

Athena: Can we please focus? We just found out who the Gangsta is and we're talking about cheese and nose-hair plucking.

Zeus: Actually, I'm feeling generous today. Hermes, we won't punish you. In fact, I shall give you the _privilege_ to scrub my feet with one of Poseidon's sea-sponges.

Poseidon: CERTAINLY NOT.

Hermes: I… I think I'll pass… please.

Zeus: Nonsense! I insist.

Hermes: No, seriously… I'm good.

Aphrodite: Wait, you guys never answered my question. Is a corneas like popcorn that hasn't been pooped yet, or… *giggles* OMG! I spelled 'pooped' instead of 'popped.' *giggles*

Artemis: Why do you exist. Please. Why.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Comparing Coolness: Pothena vs. Percabeth <strong>_Pleased/Offended button unavailable for comparison topics

_Comments (28)_

Athena: APHRO—

Aphrodite: Before you blow up in my face, this wasn't me!

Ares: Yes it was.

Aphrodite: No, Ares, you do the comparing coolness topics, remember? I do the relationship topics.

Ares: Yes, but this is a comparing coolness topic _about_ relationships. Therefore you get partial credit.

Athena: I don't care who wrote it! This is the last time I say it. I HATE PERCABETH. POSEIDON AND I WILL NEVER BE IN A RELATIONSHIP.

Poseidon: I know you dream about me.

Athena: *splutters*

Poseidon: Ugh. Pretend I never said that. This just became extremely uncomfortable.

Athena: I agree, I want to barf. You idiot. I hate you. I want to throw you into Tartarus and let Kronos eat you all over again.

Ares: Can you guys just compare these topics already? I didn't write all of that for nothing.

Poseidon: If I had to choose, I would pick Percabeth.

Athena: NEITHER! Every time I look up at the topic, I want to punch a hole in Olympus. All of you, just go die.

Apollo: I pick Pothena. Everyone just wants you two together.

Athena: NEVER.

Zeus: Mrrghggghhh… I pick Percabeth. I can't stand the thought of Athena dating that disgusting wretch. Why am I participating in this.

Aphrodite: *Giggles* Ares, how could you make me pick? Percy and Annabeth are just soooo adorable I want to die. But Athena and Poseidon would just… that relationship would just unite the entire universe, and everyone would be happy and we would all just float on clouds and eat rainbows and chillcheese. Both! Both, both, both! I just love everything!

Artemis: Shoot me.

Hephaestus: I'll go with the opposite of what Zeus said, because he is the worst father imaginable.

Zeus: Get over yourself, son.

Hermes: Am I allowed to vote?

Athena: NO. You're lucky you're not rotting in acid.

Apollo: Oh snap. Athena be gettin slick.

Artemis: That made no sense. All of you are idiots. Except Athena.

Aphrodite: Artemis, you always have to be angry about one thing or another. Can you not just get along with us and accept us as we are?

Artemis: Not if you're gonna be announcing relationships left and right.

Aphrodite: You don't understand me, Artemis! Relationships are my life!

Artemis: You're such a drama queen.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Paradox: "If Pinocchio said, "my nose will grow," what would happen?"<strong>_ Pleased/Offended button unavailable for paradox topics

_Comments (27)_

Ares: Obviously his nose wouldn't grow. You can't just say something and make it happen, unless you're the best god ever, like I am. And you're not me. So EAT DIRT. Kick you in the face. I don't care how cool your name is, Pinocchio. I don't even know you. I haven't even met you and I want to throw you off a cliff.

Apollo: Jeez… Chillcheese?

Ares: Yeah, man. I'm just so angry.

Apollo: I'll give you a special. 20.25 drachmas.

Ares: Thanks, man. You're the best.

Apollo: Anytime, bro. Enjoy.

Zeus: … That was weird.

Poseidon: His nose would obviously grow because… he was lying. But then it wouldn't grow, because it turned out it was the truth. But then… his nose… what?! UGH WHY CAN'T I FIGURE THIS OUT?

Apollo: This is hurting my head.

Artemis: Everything would explode. It's a paradox.

Poseidon: Athena, you're the all-knowing goddess full of wisdom. What's the answer?

Athena: Hmm… well, if you think of it one way, it's neither true nor false. But if you think of it the technical way, it's true. Pinocchio's nose may grow if soaked in water. The wood would absorb the water and the size of the nose would increase. Therefore, he would have been speaking the truth.

Poseidon: But what if he didn't have any water?

Athena: The size of the nose is bound to change eventually, it wouldn't stay the same for his whole life.

Aphrodite: I hate this topic.

Artemis: Because it involves thinking?

Aphrodite: Because SHUT UP. I'm still trying to decide on whether I like Percabeth or Pothena.

Dionysus: Ah, my old friend Pinocchio. He was such a nice puppy… Stupid drakon! I will never forgive you! Aaaauauuuueueugoishhshemmmme eeeeeejgjjjj.

Artemis: Dionysus is drunk again.

Zeus: WHAT? I forbade you from drinking!

Dionysus: I'm not really drunk, I just like to act like it.

Hermes: Am I forgiven now?

Athena: NO. Leave Olympus now!

Poseidon: Chill out, Athena.

Apollo: *Holds out cheese*

Ares: Man… that cheese is delicious. Can I get some more? I'm bout to make me some quesadillas.

Apollo: WOOHOOOO, I be makin' some BANK.

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><p>( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)<p>

Hey guys! It's been about four months. I know you're getting sick of my apologies. But I'M SO SORRY!Honestly, I hit a large block with this story. I know you all hate me, so I have rewarded you with a very crappy chapter. I don't deserve you guys D:  
>So much has been going on lately, it's just insane. I thought I was busy before... HA. HA. Life is vicious.<p>

Leave a review, vote on my poll. Oh, speaking of my poll. I held a contest a while ago so that it would reach 100 votes. The hundredth voter ended up being PJYJAwesomeness! Go check out her profile, PM her, etc. Congratulate her on her achievements. Jeez, that's pretty much exactly what I have on my profile. xD Hurray for creativity.  
>None of you know what I'm talking about. I'm an idiot.<p>

THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING PATIENT! I LOVE ALL OF YOU!  
>And PM me, you guys! I love talking to you all!<br>Oh and if you want to see frequent updates, **leave me a whole bunch of ideas! I'm in super-desperate need!**


	16. Week XV

OLYMPUS WEEKLY

Week XV.

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><p><em><strong>Mortifying Discovery of the Week: ARTEMIS HAS A TRAMP STAMP?! <strong>_Gods offended: (12: Artemis and 11 more), Gods pleased: (1: Aphrodite)

_Comments (38)_

Artemis: How is this mortifying?

Zeus: My daughter. My precious, innocent daughter. What is this? WHAT is this? WHAT IS THIS?

Aphrodite: AWW OMG, Artemis! Send me a picture! OMG, how precious! I wanna see!

Zeus: Absolutely not! Artemis will not be flaunting any body marks around whatsoever! I don't care if it's a tramp stamp or a flimsy hand tattoo! ARTEMIS WILL BE COVERED FROM HEAD TO TOE FROM THIS DAY ON.

Aphrodite: OMG Zeus, that is so parent-like of you! Tramp stamps are soooo cute!

Ghetto Hera: Heeeeecks yeuuh I have GOT to see dis! My baby gurl Artemis she done grown up so fast o lawdie lawdie. She be getting tats on her back, and now she just gotta finish dat up with a few piercings, and oh lawdie she just make me so dang proud. I'm gettin teary. Aw I'm bouts to cry.

Artemis: Wait a minute, who posted this?!

Zeus: It doesn't matter, Artemis. I can't believe you'd be so… so… so… I just can't believe it.

Aphrodite: Tramp stamps aren't even that big of a deal.

Artemis: It's just a little moon thing with deer and symbols and stuff. I like it. And it's not like I'll ever walk around in a bikini or anything, oh jeez no. It's just something that symbolizes me as the goddess of the Hunt.

Zeus: Those things are made so that men to can admire and fondle a woman's behind.

Apollo: LOL, fondle is such an uncomfortable word.

Artemis: UGH MEN. Please don't say anything like that ever again. Father, I would never do anything with a man! I wouldn't let him see ANYTHING. I would crack his skull if he thought about it. UGH. Don't even say that!

Zeus: Then what's the point of having this dumb tattoo?

Artemis: Like I said, it's all just symbolism. I thought it might look nice.

Zeus: TO WHO?

Apollo: Zeus, I believe you need some chillcheese.

Athena: I agree. You don't have anything at all to worry about when it comes to Artemis and boys. Have you forgotten that she's a maiden goddess?

Zeus: Hmmph… I suppose. I don't know why I was so worried. I think I was afraid Aphrodite was growing on her.

Artemis: NEVER.

Ghetto Hera: Yeuh das right ZOOS. Ain't nobody gonna mess wit my baby Artemis—she can get anything she wants on ha body! You should be so proud like mama Hera is, and I ain't even her mama. So SHUT UP AND LEAVE HA THE HECK ALONE—SHE CAN GET A TRAMP DANG STAMP IF SHE WANT and I BEST not hear you complainin or I'mma bust you up in yo fat head.

Zeus: *Gasps*

Aphrodite: I think this is the only moment I've ever appreciated Ghetto Hera!

Ghetto Hera: Say WHAT?

Poseidon: I think we're forgetting something important. If Artemis isn't "flaunting" her tramp stamp, who saw it and posted this topic?

*Silence on Olympus*

Artemis: …I don't know. But I'm always covered from head to toe—no one could ever see my lower back. And I used magic to make the tramp stamp. I haven't shown it to anyone..

Apollo: I think you have a stalker.

Artemis: It still doesn't make sense.

Aphrodite: OMG what if he watches you change?!

Artemis: _HE?!_

Zeus: It's one of us! Her stalker put it on Olympus Weekly, and only the gods have access to the site! IT'S POSEIDON!

Poseidon: Now wait a second…

Athena: I hope this doesn't turn into another Olympus Gangsta deal…

Hermes: IT'S NOT ME I SWEAR SOMEONE PLEASE TALK TO ME JUST SO I CAN MAKE SURE YOU CAN HEAR ME.

Poseidon: Well Hermes, you did have the nerve to vandalize our thrones…

Hermes: It's not me, I swear! Please don't be suspicious—Artemis will rip out my throat. I'm a man and I'm frightened!

Artemis: I'LL FIND YOU, CREEPER, AND I WILL KILL YOU.

Ghetto: O my baby make me so proud.

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><p>"<em><strong>Reasons Why Ares Hates Percy Jackson"<strong>_

_**-He's stupid**_

_**-He's dumb**_

_**-Ugly**_

_**-Stupid**_

_**-Fish head**_

_**-Hate him**_

_**-Want to bash his head into a wall **_Gods offended: (4: Poseidon, Aphrodite and 2 more), Gods pleased: (9: Ares and 8 more)

_Comments (33)_

Athena: Agreed, although I would be a lot more elaborate if I were to make a list. I have reasons to hate him, and Ares hates him solely to hate him.

Zeus: BEST LIST EVER MADE.

Aphrodite: Aww, but I think Percy's sooo adorable! And he and Annabeth are SOOOOO—

Athena & Poseidon: SHUT UP, APHRODITE.

Poseidon: And this is stupid! Being a fish head i G.

Ares: No.

Zeus: No.

Dionysus: I also agree with this article! Your idiot of a son ate my grapes. He just ate them. All of them. I had eight beautifully peeled grapes in a bowl and he ATE THEM.

Poseidon: LOL I love that kid!

Aphrodite: I know, isn't he great?

Ares: I hate him. Wow… WOW I have so much gas.

Aphrodite: ...OMG ew…

Ares: Seriously, it's crazy. It's coming out like rockets.

Artemis: Honestly, I don't have anything against Percy. Well, I hate the fact that he's a boy. But he's actually okay.

Zeus: ARTEMIS. You are forbidden to think any BOY, especially Poseidon's, is "okay." I _knew_ that tramp stamp wasn't a good idea.

Ghetto Hera: HEY. Did I nat just tell you to leave my baby gurl alone? If you say one mo word, I'm bout to snap yo neck.

Artemis: Seriously.

Dionysus: This is the most accurate list I've ever laid eyes on. I shall post it on the side of Peter's cabin.

Poseidon: Okay, as long as it's Peter's cabin and not mine.

Athena: Are you an idiot?

Artemis: He's talking about your cabin, Poseidon.

Poseidon: WHAT?! Dionysus, I can't have this! What has this come to?!

Zeus: Here we go, with the vandalism all over again.

Poseidon: Since when do I have a son named Peter?!

Athena: You truly are hopeless.

Apollo: Chillcheese for sale.

Hephaestus: Yo, hit me up with some of that.

Apollo: Coo. Coo.

Athena: I suppose I'll try it.

Aphrodite: Me too!

Apollo: What's that heavenly sound? Oh it's me makin' some BANK.

Poseidon: Could Peter be a cyclope perhaps?

Dionysus: *Rolls eyes*

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><p><em><strong>Lab Results Positive: Apollo's Chillcheese Contains Fatal Ingredients!<strong>_ ERROR: Offended button broken again

_Comments (34)_

Olympus in Unison: FATAL?!

Ares: We're all gonna die!

Artemis: Apollo! What is the cheese made out of?

Dionysus: NO! How can this be?

Poseidon: Apollo, you idiot!

Aphrodite: What? I just had some! *Sobs* Oh well. *Wipes tears* At least if I die, I know I'll die young and beautiful…

Athena: I'm just as astounded as everyone else. However, we must remember that we are immortal Greek gods. If Apollo had fed his cheese to a mortal, chances are they're dead. We as gods might get mild indigestion.

Aphrodite: *Gasps* I'm gonna have to poop? But… but ladies NEVER poop! No please—I'll do anything!

Apollo: Well, I did tell you guys a long time ago that a side effect included gas…

Poseidon: Or DEATH, to a mortal.

Apollo: Yes, but I didn't sell to any…oh. Wait.

Artemis: You're _such_ an idiot! Apollo, you killed people with your cheese!

Apollo: Only like nine!

Artemis: NINE?

Apollo: Okay, eleven. Eighteen, tops. Seriously, tops. Like twenty-five. Tippy-tops. Twenty-eight.

Artemis: Are you freaking kidding me?!

Hermes: Oh no! Apollo, you had me deliver some of this cheese to your customers! I contributed to this mass murder! Take me away, I don't deserve to live!

Aphrodite: Forget the mortals, I'm gonna have to _poop_! When do these effects start?!

Apollo: Well… I'm thinking about two weeks after consumption? Because Ares has gas that is, and I quote, "coming out like rockets." He ate the cheese two weeks ago.

Ares: IS THIS WHY I HAVE SO MUCH GAS? IT'S BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID CHEESE?

Apollo: I'm afraid so…

Athena: Apollo, how can you be such an insolent fool? Good thing I haven't opened the package you sent me yet.

Ares: MY ONGOING GAS IS BECAUSE OF YOU?! APOLLO?!

Apollo: YES, ARES, PLEASE RELEASE THE CAPS BUTTON.

Ares: Are you kidding me?! I ate SO MUCH CHILLCHEESE.

Hephaestus: Oh no… I think I'm next. Oh no.

Ghetto Hera: Oh heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeecks naw. Oh HECKS NAW. HECKS NAW. I had some o dat cheese just a few days ago. OH HECKS NAW NAW NAW NAW NAW.

Artemis: Apollo. You idiot. Hera is gonna murder you.

[_Server: ERROR—We're sorry. Hera has been temporarily banned from Olympus Weekly due to excessive foul language and violent death threats. Have a good day!]_

Apollo: Have a good day? Have a good day?! Hera's gonna crack my head open! Oh no. Oh no!

Aphrodite: I can't believe I'm gonna have gas in two weeks! I've never farted in my life! How does it feel? Does it hurt? Someone please help, I think I'm having a heart attack.

Artemis: Gas doesn't hurt… You've never farted before? That's SO weird.

Ares: Oh man, it's like a volcano erupting downwards. JEEZ how can this happen?

Apollo: I'm dead. I'm so dead.

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><p>( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)<p>

LOL I'm so strange. I hope you guys liked this chapter! I had a great time writing it xD  
>I loooooved all the ideas I got! I was amazed at how seriously weird you guys are. The topics were GENIUS!<p>

ExceedinglyPeculiarChick: I love how you said "HOLY CHILLCHEESE"

**Credit:**  
><span>Apollo's Chillcheese SilverWingedRaven  
>Artemis Tramp Stamp Cayla Mechelle<br>Ares' Article MibsShadow

Please leave me more reviews and ideas and PMs! I love you guys, you're like super awesome. ;)


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